National Poetry Month #26

Today a fantastic item came through on my Facebook news feed from I Fucking Love Science. It's part poem, part riddle; part religion, part science. I thought it was pretty sweet, so I will share it with you:

He is everywhere, in the heavens and the earth.
He makes the stars shine, yet He cannot be seen.
He is noble, abundant, and fills the universe.
He can lift you into the sky and bring you gently back down.
He can take many forms.
He can help heal; He can help kill.
He can help create, and He can help destroy.

Praise be unto He,
Helium.

Jack Van Impe is a ruh-TARD

Heavens to Betsy! All three of them!

I was watching the Apprentice on DVR tonight, and when it ended, this ancient, Bible-thumping nitwit came on the television. Here's a direct quote:

"The astronomers now tell us that there are three heavens, and that agrees with the Bible. The first runs 600 miles into space, the second runs 187 trillion billions of miles into space. Unfad'nable! And then there's a third heaven where God rules."

--HUH? First, the atmosphere kinda trails off into space around 300 miles or so above the earth, so I'm not sure where the 600 comes into play. Second, I suppose he's just pulling numbers out of his bum for that second part. Third, just what the hell is, "unfad'nable?" I know the word, "unfathomable," but that isn't what he said. And, fourth, WHAT?? Exactly which, "the astronomers," are they who are now saying "there's a third heaven where God rules???" I must have missed that bit in my college astronomy class.

But there's more:

"Let's talk about that second heaven. Do you know that they now tell us that there are galaxies like our own, into the hundreds of thousands? And they've increased it to a million, and recently to a billion. A billion different galaxies! Each with 200 to 400 million stars. It's unlimited! And our God created it all. And for these people who can think it just happened through (claps) a big bang? ...You ...don't have much of an education."

--HUH? Which is it? Do they "now tell us" a few hundred thousand, a million, or a billion? If it's a billion, then why even mention hundreds of thousands? Say, "they now tell us there are a billion." It's more efficient; you can make your point sooner (or at least attempt to) and then get back to your silent prayer or whatever. As long as it's silent, it will be an improvement.

Also, WHICH IS IT? Is that second layer of space unlimited, as you just said, or is it "187 trillion billions of miles?" It can't be both! Or perhaps because it's so unfad'nable, it just SEEMS unlimited to your level of comprehension.

Additionally, I don't think anyone could argue against the thought that *technically* the Big Bang and a divine creator are not mutually exclusive. Even Stephen Hawking has said (or typed, as it were. INDICATED, anyway) that his belief in the Big Bang does not mean he doesn't believe in God. He could have been the one to cause the Big Bang, after all. (God, not Hawking.)

Finally, you should have seen the look in this guy's eyes when he said, "you... don't have much of an education." It even looked like he was going to swear during that stutter-pause: "You... gotta be effin' kidding me." Ooooh, was he heated up. Hee hee.

I've never seen this douche before, but I know he's been around quite a long time. I'm sure he could provide ammunition against himself like this all day long. He makes Pat Robertson look like Dan Rather. To quote a wise prophet named Bugs Bunny: "What a maroon!"

Happy Pi Day!

What better day to celebrate that most elusive and mysterious of irrational numbers than on 3/14? Sure, you could think of Pi as simply a circle’s circumference divided by its diameter, but it’s so much more than that. That alone is crazy enough, since in a "perfect" circle, circ/diam will NEVER be anything other than 3.14yadayada..... Pi wouldn’t be as amazing if it were a whole number. We wouldn’t be nearly as amazed to see it recurring in nature if it were simply "3." Big deal.

Okay, I realize most folks don’t share my enthusiasm for mathematical wonders, so I’ll move on, but let me suggest some reading first. To learn a BIT more about Pi and Pi Day, see this article. Or, to be amazed on a deeper level about not just Pi, but the equally if not more amazing Phi, or the "Golden Ratio," check out this book. I own it and love it.

Alright, enough of that for the day. But I would like to know why the blog categories in the drop-down menu during blog creation lack something like "Science and Nature." I’m sure I’m not the first geek to write about something other than "Parties and Nightlife." Get on that, Tom! Someboody send him an email, because Tom is not my friend.

Re: Vatican releases new list of sins

Those crazy fuckers at the Vatican are at it again:

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Monday, Mar. 10, 2008 By AP

(VATICAN CITY) — A Vatican official has listed drugs, pollution, genetic manipulation and social and economic injustices as new areas of sinful behavior.

Sins increasingly manifest themselves as behavior that damages society as a whole, Monsignor Gianfranco Girotti said in an interview published Sunday by the Vatican's daily newspaper, L'Osservatore Romano.

"While sin used to concern mostly the individual, today it has mainly a social resonance, due to the phenomenon of globalization," said Girotti, who heads the Apostolic Penitentiary, a Vatican body that issues decisions on matters of conscience and grants absolutions.

Catholic teaching distinguishes between lesser venial sins and mortal sins.

Listing the new areas of sinful behavior, Girotti denounced "certain violations of the fundamental rights of human nature through experiments, genetic manipulations."

He also mentioned drugs — which "weaken the mind and obscure intelligence" — pollution, and the widening social and economic differences between the rich and the poor.

Girotti said the Catholic Church continued to be concerned by other sinful acts, including abortion and pedophilia.

He said Church authorities had reacted with "rigorous measures" to child abuse scandals within the clergy, but he also claimed that the issue had been excessively emphasized by the media. 

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What? Drugs? Like... wine? Doesn't it "weaken the mind and obscure intelligence"? Yeah, right, I really believe the Cathoholic Church is going to admit that alcohol is a drug--the most widely used psychoactive drug in the world, in fact. That'll be the day. Yet again, the church shows us its hypocrisy and knack for inconsistency.

And, "thy shall not POLLUTE THY ATMOSPHERE???" What the hell?! These guys just keep on making shit up, don't they? If their book is so damned holy and perfect, why do they have to keep issuing addenda to it? They've even redefined the meaning of "sin." Here I always thought it meant "to fall short of the mark; miss; err." Now they tell me it has to do with global-social responsibilities. I'm sorry, was that the King James or NIV that says we need to reduce our carbon footprint to get into heaven?