Shark Island returns...Kind of

I just discovered a true gem on Apple Music.

Back in 1989 I acquired a cassette copy of what will always be one of my favorite soundtrack albums, that of the soundtrack for Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure. Through it I was introduced to several new bands, the first of which was, of course, Big Pig, with their opening track "I Can't Break Away," which led me in turn to buy their album, Bonk, which subsequently stunned and impressed me with such great, heavily percussive, alternative(? I'm not sure there's a genre to describe Big Pig) tunes as "Big Hotel," "Hungry Town," "Devil's Song" and so many more.

That, in turn, led me to re-purchase that particular album on CD when the tape wore out. I also bought the followup CD years later. Not as good, but still managed a few good tracks. Great band. Sorry to know that they are not only defunct, but I can't really find anything substantial any one of them has gone on to do in the music industry.

But this entry is not about Big Pig.

This soundtrack also introduced me to Extreme. "Play with Me" was a blisteringly fast, melodic rock song that really blew me away. Their debut and sophomore albums were amazing and among my favorites of the era, and unlike Big Pig, they quickly found relative commercial success, but lost me along with that. Don't even get me started on Gary Cherone in Van Halen.

This post isn't about them either.

Tora Tora and Nelson both made solid appearances on the soundtrack as well (though the latter appeared as "Power Tool" due to a contract arrangement prior to their debut album release), as did a couple other even lesser-knowns. But it ain't about them either.

This is about Shark Island, one of the most underrated melodic hard rock bands of the late '80s. This group, along with Babylon A.D., has one of those non-success stories that kind of sickens me, because they were really good yet practically ignored, and I place the blame squarely on their labels. Both bands had incredible debut albums boasting a solid selection of songs with no filler, but suffered horribly from a lack of promotion and airplay.

Law of the Order was Shark Island's major label debut album, releasing the same year as the Bill & Ted soundtrack, as did Extreme's eponymous debut, and Tora Tora's Sneak Attack. It was a fantastic set of music, start to finish. Great riffs & catchy melodies abound, and Richard Black's vocals were spot-on throughout. This album should have been a huge success. It's a crying shame that Epic just let such genius material sit and rot.

FFWD>> to 2007, and I'm still listening to the album with some regularity. In August that year Shark Island released a new album. They'd apparently gotten most of the original band together to bring to fruition a bunch of old material and demos they'd had sitting around in the vault. This was exciting news. Unfortunately, the prospect was far more exciting than the final project.

Gathering of the Faithful is a great album title, and it makes a fan of the band think, "Wow, this is an album dedicated to me, one of the faithful who recognized the genius of the first album and waited faithfully for 18 years for an amazing followup. I'm finally gonna get my reward." Sadly, what you get when you play the album, no matter whether you're a fan or not, is a bunch of castoff material that shouldn't have made it to an actual album release. There's a reason they didn't record this stuff 15 years earlier. It kind of sucks. And, insult to injury, the production value sucks too. The band sounds like they haven't played together for almost two decades. Major disappointment.

Today I discovered on Apple Music that there's other Shark Island material out there as well. In 2004 an independent French label had the good sense to re-release Law of the Order in 2-disc format, adding a disc of live material recorded at the Whisky A Go Go in July 1989, five months after the release of Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, when these guys were raring for takeoff after having slogged along and slowly built up a pretty decent following after 10 years on the L.A. rock scene.

Shark Island: Alive at the Whiskey - July 14, 1989 Bastille Day on iTunes

That disc is now available online. Though you'll shell out $60 or more for a secondhand mint-condition LP, you can now own a digital copy through iTunes for a mere 8 bucks. It's worth every penny. Even though most of the tracks are just live versions of the same material on Law of the Order, they are done with such energy and passion that each selection is given new life. If you happen to be a fan of this band looking for additional listening, I would recommend the live versions of the stuff you already know on Alive at the Whiskey long before I'd recommend the sloppy-seconds original material you'll find on Gathering of the Faithful.

There is kind of a heartbreaking moment buried in the glee I was feeling in enjoying this fantastic resurrected material. As the band finishes the final notes of "Get Some Strange" and they soak in the applause and cheers, singer Richard Black slips out of the rock star persona for a second and you get the sense that he suddenly truly noticed the crowd reaction and the fact that he was on this great stage with his band, getting major exposure on a really successful film soundtrack, and things were beginning to finally happen, that all their work was finally paying off. He shouts to the crowd, "Unbelievable!" Followed up with, seemingly more to himself, "My dreams have come true."

If only he had know how badly his record company was going to fuck him over. Such a waste.

March Madness, Metal-Style

Hey, Manowarriors worldwide! I've got a chance for you to stand up and be counted! Speak out for your true metal heroes and make your voice heard! Loudwire is taking the college sports sensation known in the States as "March Madness" and co-opted it for metalheads everywhere. They've created brackets for fans to vote on and find the best metal mascot ever.

The first match-up is Black Sabbath's occasionally used demon known as "Henry" vs. Manowar's ubiquitous "Manowarrior." Face it, folks, the United States is heavily biased toward Sabbath, so my overseas brothers and sisters of true metal are the only ones who are gonna be able to save our beloved Manowarrior from certain defeat at the hands of a part-time mascot whom he could rip apart with his bare hands in a true brawl.

Help me bring our Manowarrior victory! Hail and Kill! Visit this round 1 voting link and cast your vote today! Voting ends at noon on Monday 23 March GMT. Spread the word and take the metal world by STORM!

HAIL AND KILL!

iPhone art for you. Merry Christmas.

I got a new iPhone 5c last week, and of course I've rushed to customize it, especially since Halloween is peeking at us from around the corner.

Since I'm a huge Mercyful Fate & King Diamond fan, I thought a themed lock screen/home screen would be perfect, so I grabbed a Melissa album cover online and doctored it up a bit to throw on there. If you like it, go ahead and grab it yourself.

Note: I changed the background from yellow to green, so it's good to go all the way through Christmas. :)

WTF, Manowar?

I am a lifelong fan of Manowar through good times and bad, but even I am not sure what to think of the newest release coming out next month.

First off, they've rerecorded a classic--nay, the definitive--Manowar album, Kings of Metal, giving it the same treatment as Battle Hymns. I gotta say, even though Joey DeMaio previously has gone on record as saying the band would never stoop to rerecording and rereleasing old music, that Battle Hymns reboot is a killer record. I loved the original much better than many of the early releases, but since BH MMXI released, I hardly listen to the original release at all anymore.

I understand the desire to rerecord the debut album, or any of the first five albums, for that matter; the production value on those albums was definitely lacking. Hearing the old songs performed live really brings that realization home. The band is in its best incarnation ever right now with Eric, Joey, Karl and Donnie. They blow the shit out of all previous lineups, so it only makes sense to utilize their masterful playing and studio production values to breathe new life into solid but sonically dated material.
Kings of Metal, however, is not one of the releases that particularly begs to be revamped. In my opinion, it is the first of the releases with more kickass overall production values. Later on the sound quality and oomph on the records went into even higher gear with Warriors of the World. The way I see it (or, more accurately, the way I hear it) is that there have been four eras of evolution to Manowar's sound:

1. Battle Hymns, Into Glory Ride, Hail to England
2. Sign of the Hammer, Fighting the World
3. Kings of Metal, The Triumph of Steel, Louder Than Hell
4. Warriors of the World, Gods of War, Battle Hymns MMXI, Lord of Steel

Anything in category 1 is overdue for a freshening up. One down, two to go. Category 2 could benefit from a little dusting off. Anything in category 3 or 4 is fine as-is. With the exception of Louder Than Hell, which--if you're a regular reader--you might know is one of my least favorite Manowar releases.

So that's reason one that I'm not sure how to face the release of Kings of Metal MMXIV: it doesn't really need to be rerecorded. There's a reason Kings of Metal endures as the band's best selling album to date--it's sheer perfection already! "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

The second reason is, well, take a look at the cover, compared with the original:

Anything missing from the revamped cover on the right? That's right. Where the FUCK is the U.S. flag??? These guys are from New York City, for Chrissakes! Have they become so deeply involved in their overseas exploits that they've forgotten their roots completely? Joey DeMaio doesn't do anything without thinking it through very methodically. You know he and Ken Kelly communicated very specifically about which countries to represent on the new cover. This was a deliberate decision with some sort of very concise motivation behind it. Is it political in nature? What's going on? Why, before embarking on their longest U.S. tour leg in decades, would Manowar give the USA short shrift on the cover of the album they are promoting, especially when the U.S. flag held such a place of high esteem on the original cover? If Warriors of the World ever gets a rerelease, whose flag will our mighty warrior be holding aloft? Where is the interviewer who is gonna corner Joey and ask him head-on about this?

I just don't know how to take this cover. I think it legitimately warrants an explanation from the band, just because they took an iconic album cover that represented victory through adversity and American patriotism and, upon rerelease, completely removed that element, replacing it with symbols of other nations of the world. And truly that's the ONLY thing that changed about the cover artwork. The rest is identical. It doesn't have to be addressed with the hostile attitude I've given here. Just a simple question: "Joey, what was the thought process behind the cover choice for the new album? What inspired you to make the changes you did, and is there any significance behind the absence of the U.S. flag?" Simple.

I just gotta know. Of course I'll buy the album even not knowing the answer because Manowar is in my blood. But I might hate myself a little for it. Despite the buyer's remorse, I just have to own those damn bonus tracks. To have instrumental (read KARAOKE) tracks of "Blood of the Kings," "Hail and Kill," "Heart of Steel," Kingdom Come," "Kings of Metal" and "Wheels of Fire" is going to be amazing. I'll be taking those to the karaoke bar I work at and trying them on for size. I need no lyric sheets of course. I need only the roar of the Black Wind and an open mic.

Damn you, Manowar. I can't hate you even when you piss me off.

Macklemore destroys our differences and brings world peace

Buried amid an unexpectedly fantastic and inspirational pop/rap song about tolerance and acceptance is this even more unexpectedly wise phrase that, when extracted from the whole of the text, really stands alone in its universal importance:

  

"Whatever god you believe in, we come from the same one. Strip away the fear, [and] underneath it's all the same love."

I don't know if rapper Macklemore realizes just how very deep this sentiment is. It's the first song lyric to ever jump out of a pop song, slap me in the face, and command me to spend time truly pondering it in a deeply personal manner. I wish that everyone in the world, believers and nonbelievers alike, could sit alone in a room and quietly ruminate over this lyric excerpt for a good 30 minutes. Maybe even up to an hour. It could be an attitude- and life-changing experience for many. It could be the first step down the road of understanding and enlightenment for all. That's how heavily this lyric impacted me. It's like a light went on where there was before only darkness.

Before you ask--no, I'm still an atheist.

"No matter what god you believe in... We come from the same one." >> We can't all be right. My god and your god might go by different names and have different methods of handing down their edicts or suggestions for a holy life, but must not their titles be but differing ways to refer to the same being? For as the bard suggested, "a rose by any other name would smell as sweet," would it not? No matter who you believe your god is... if there is a creator, I think we can all agree that--much like the Highlander--there can be only one.

"Strip away the fear, underneath it's all the same love." >> In the end, if you distill each of our faiths down to their respective cores, aren't they all about loving your god, your fellow man and yourself? Let's put aside the differences and concentrate on the similarities. Let's do things that please our god and make this life on earth more bearable and pleasant for us. For despite who you think your god is, we are ALL his children, even those of us who believe he is someone else entirely or that he doesn't even exist. Why can't we just leave the judgment to him and just concentrate on helping our fellow man have a rich and rewarding experience here on this earth, where we have unquestioning control of our lives and our impact on the lives of others?

Heavy philosophical words bringing a very deep line of thought for a pop song ostensibly about the support of gay marriage--a topic not to be taken lightly, for sure. If you think about it, though, were we to simply worry about taking care of ourselves and loving others, all people would be equally included. No preferences based on race, sex, gender identity, age, color, religion (or lack thereof), class...

Respecting each man, woman and child as a beloved creation of the god of your choosing, (for I don't know about your god, but the one I grew up on loves ALL of his creations, even animals with no souls) erases our imaginary dividing lines. It brings us together like nothing else can, save the elimination of religion entirely from the face of the earth.

Hey, someone has to play the logician's advocate here. One aforementioned scenario is unfortunately no more likely than the other. The people of this world will never see eye to eye. There's a third possibility that has the potential to bring an unprecedented unity to the people of earth, and that is the discovery of intelligent alien life. Like a legitimate first contact situation. It could cause mass chaos, but my hope is that it will force people to at least think, "Wow. This universe just got smaller. Maybe I was wrong about EVERYTHING. Let's start over."

But knowing the people of this planet, it would be more like, "Hey, there is a whole universe of people-ish creatures we can turn our xenophobic disdain upon. There's no more reason to fight amongst ourselves. We're all humans here. The real threat is OUT THERE."

It's not perfect, and it could potentially destroy our entire planet, but at least, for that short period of time, we'd all be together focusing on our newly found solidarity. Sorry, Macklemore. I know you tried.

New Queensrÿche album is more of the same

I am an oldschool Queensrÿche fan; i.e., I adore their 1990 & earlier stuff. I truly believe Operation: Mindcrime is one of the best hard rock albums ever recorded. Alas, like King Diamond's sequel to the legendary Abigail, Mindcrime II fell flat in comparison to the original. Why did Operation: Mindcrime II stink so bad? Because, like King Diamond, they waited too long to do it. You have to strike while the iron is hot. In addition, however, unlike King Diamond, Queensrÿche has been losing its edge since the unexpected mainstream breakout success of 1990's Empire.

The raw sound that Queensrÿche crafted on their 1983 debut EP, honed the following year on The Warning and perfected in 1986 on Rage for Order is the style the band was built on. When Mindcrime released in 1988, I was blown away by not only the more polished sound, but also the mysterious, intriguing storyline and the incredible accompanying music videos.  "I Don't Believe in Love" (the band's first Grammy-nominated song) became a staple on MTV's "Headbanger's Ball."The band had the amazing opportunity the following year to support that album performing as the opening act for Metallica on the ...And Justice for All tour. Queensrÿche was suddenly a household name where metalheads were concerned.

Then came Empire. MTV rotated the hell out of the tracks "Empire," "Jet City Woman," and the dreadful "Silent Lucidity," the worst thing to ever happen to the Queensrÿche sound, and possibly to progressive hard rock itself. In pandering to the Top 40 and Hot 100 crowd, the album achieved triple-platinum status and "Silent Lucidity" received two Grammy nominations. The video was nominated in five categories at the MTV VMAs, winning only one--Viewer's Choice--further cementing my opinion that the album critically sucked but seemed to please the MTV masses.

The followup album, Promised Land, though released four years after Empire's explosive success and not changing the formula much from that which brought them commercial success (aside from being a touch more gut-centered rock-oriented), became their best charting album to date. However, at this point the band had strayed so far from that original, influential sound and attitude on the first two full-length releases that I decided I'd had enough. That's when I gave up on Queensrÿche.

They seemed to stagnate and stay out of the limelight throughout the mid-to-late '90s and the first decade of the 21st Century. I checked back in with them now and then to see if there had been any change in direction but of course was not surprised to find that the edge had gone permanently missing. One exception I'm just now discovering is the album of cover tunes they released in 2007. Don't get me wrong--the raw power I speak of is definitely gone, but Take Cover seems like an album I could actually listen to now and then because Queensrÿche had nothing to do with the writing of the pieces presented. All we have is Geoff and company giving their take on a full gamut of songs from a more varied supply of sources than any other cover album I've ever heard, except maybe for Richard Cheese's stuff. (On a side note, I wish more heavy metal bands did cover albums, particularly MANOWAR. I'd love to hear that.)

So we're finally up to the album in question, 2013's Queensrÿche. The new self-titled album is sadly but expectedly no different from the lackluster norm, except to say that it's probably worse. One might think, with last year's departure of founding guitarist Chris DeGarmo and this year's firing of vocalist Geoff Tate, perhaps the band might find a new direction or try a return to its roots. No such luck.

Following in the steps of many outfits before them, the band recruited a "safe" replacement singer, Todd La Torre, who does a really decent imitation of the band's original vocalist--and, as it happens, at the time of his recruitment, shared my opinion that the best Queensrÿche has to offer comes from the time period between the untitled debut EP and Empire. La Torre, originally a drummer by trade, was fresh off a three-year stint as frontman for obscure-but-tenacious prog-metal band Crimson Glory.

At this point, though, half of the band that spent the last 30 years together as a cohesive unit is missing. Surprisingly, the lyrics seem to jibe with the band's prior catalog, and the music is fairly consistent as well. If anything, perhaps it's a bit more watered down that in the past--more progressive than metal. It's possible that the band's last couple of releases have been inching toward this fate; I wouldn't know, not having really even listened to them in the last decade except for a regrettable, outright blind purchase of Mindcrime II simply based on what it was (yeah, they suckered me) and a single listen of 2009's American Soldier, which failed to impress as usual.

The newest album is not without its high points, though. Four tracks of the 11 got my attention. First there's the intro, which is a sort of ambient, electronic, futuristic, industrial, minute-long affair. Along the same lines, there's the very creepy, dark-ambient, horror sounding "Midnight Lullaby." But these don't really count, right? I mean, they're not proper songs. I might be tempted to put them on my Arkham Horror playlist, but they're nothing to jam to in the car with my windows down and my system up.

The band pre-released a single, "Redemption," but I don't find it the heaviest or the most accessible tune on the album. It's ...o..kay... as are most of the songs presented here, but I think the real high point is the balls-out rocker, "Don't Look Back." Great hook, solid riffs, nice pace and rhythm, good lyrics--this one's tough to beat. The other song that caught my attention is "In This Light," which hearkens back to the original Mindcrime days, carrying with it a style highly reminiscent of  "I Don't Believe in Love" or "The Mission."

So, in a nutshell, if you like what Queensrÿche has been doing for the last 20 years, I think you'll dig this record even sans DeGarmo and Tate. There's not much in the way of growing pains to bridge the gap to this incarnation of the band. I suspect you'll find the transition quite easy. Have fun with your substandard bastardization of a once-glorious heavy metal trailblazer.

If you're like me, though, and prefer the heavier, early stuff, then there's not much on this album to appeal to you. Perhaps hit up your iTunes or Amazon store to grab a preview and maybe download a couple of tracks ala carte. The Queensrÿche you love is dead. This release carries residual echoes from beyond its grave, but they are mere shadows of what was once great. The past cannot be reclaimed. Now go put The Warning on your turntable, drop the needle and reminisce.

National Poetry Month comes to an end

I hope you've enjoyed reading some of my favorite poems this month. Hopefully I've exposed you to some new writers during this process. I know I discovered a couple poets this month that I was previously unaware of.

How does one end National Poetry Month with a grand finale, considering all the written beauty we've absorbed this month? How can I top that? Well, I wondered the same thing myself. Here's what I came up with:

What's more beautiful and moving than the words of a poem washing over a page and filling your mind with emotion? When those flowing, emotional words are set to music the emotion can sometimes swell to flood stage. With that in mind I present to you, in no particular order, three of what I consider the most poetic songs ever written.

Chris Rea's "The Road to Hell"

 

 

Nick Cave's "Where the Wild Roses Grow"

 

 

 ...and (best for last)... 

Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah"

 

 

 

Delta Machine hits a raw nerve

I've been listening to Depeche Mode's newest album this evening. I was curious what kind of feedback this thing is getting because it's a distinctly new sort of sound for the trio, so I dug in to some online reviews. Man, the critics can be so harsh sometimes. It seems from my reading that most reviewers are panning this disc pretty well across the board. A few good reviews are to be found, but for the most part they're writing that Delta Machine is the band's worst album in their 33-year, 13-album career.

Without even having heard every one of the band's albums, I'd have to disagree.

Let me preface this, in the interest of full disclosure, by stating up front that Violator is one of my all-time favorite albums, and it's the one that I hold all newer ('90s and later) Depeche Mode albums up against for scrutiny. I haven't liked a whole lot of their offerings since then. The immediate followup, Songs of Faith and Devotion was pretty solid, but they kind of lost me with Ultra. In my opinion, the opening track, "Barrel of a Gun," was hard to beat on that record. After that, I just kinda lost interest, preferring the back catalog to any new offerings. Between the compilation Catching Up..., Some Great Reward, Violator and Songs of Faith..., I was pretty happy with my collection and had no need to update it.

When I heard about this newest effort, I had to check it out. The iTunes previews interested me, so I went ahead and sprung for the two-disc special edition. I am not disappointed... for the most part. It doesn't have the overall danceability of Violator, but it somehow feels musically more relevant to today than I thought it would. It's raw, unfiltered and subtly visceral, with an electronic and synth edge I was not expecting.

I've read reviews that say this album has no ties to DM's back catalog, but I disagree. I'm not that familiar with their very early stuff, but I can clearly hear echoes of that early comp Catching Up with Depeche Mode in this album--not in every track, mind you, and not even as the sole influence on the tracks which do exhibit that sound. But it's there nonetheless; you'll really hear it in "Broken" and "Soft Touch/Raw Nerve."

The thing that immediately appealed to me about this record is that it has an overall simplicity to it that is purely electronic and grungy. Like a wine with notes of oak or cherry, I am getting a taste of Trent Reznor's most recent efforts, an aroma of Daft Punk's Tron: Legacy soundtrack, and a hint of the sonic soundscapes of Atticus Ross. Many of the tracks early in the record have a very minimalist electronic approach that really appeals to me--a stark contrast to what we've heard from the band up to now. This is especially apparent in the two opening tracks, "Welcome to My World" and "Angel."

Standouts are the danceable "Soothe My Soul" and the introspective "Slow," which reminds me of Violator's "Clean."

Overall, I think Delta Machine is a solid album from a band that is back on the cutting edge where they should be. Sure, there are a few duds on the disc, and the whole album is admittedly not for everyone, but it worked for me.

National Poetry Month #14

The "Unicorn" post got me thinking more about my record collection, which in turn focused my attention on the selection of hilarious Smothers Brothers LPs in my library. Logically, then, I must present another Shel Silverstein poem, and you'll see why. Dick Smothers gave a little tune to this one and recorded an extremely abbreviated version of it for the It Must Have Been Something I Said! record in 1964.

I've always loved this album. It has some of my favorite Smothers tracks on it, including "Hiawatha" and "Crabs Walk Sideways," both of which I still find myself humming on occasion, decades after my last listen. Looking back, though, knowing what I know now, I envision a completely different interpretation of the following poem than Silverstein intended. I'm sure Lovecraft was never on his mind when he penned:

THE SLITHERY DEE
by Shel Silverstein

The Slithery Dee
He lives in the sea
He saw all the others
But he didn’t see me.

The Slithery Dee
He came out of the sea
He chased all the others
But he didn’t chase me.

The Slithery Dee
I hid in a tree
He caught all the others
But he couldn’t catch me.

The Slithery Dee
He went back to the sea
He ate all the others
But he didn’t eat me.

The Slithery Dee
Oh where can he be?
He ate all the others
But he’ll never eat … S-L-U-U-U-R-P!

National Poetry Month #12

Here's one of my favorites from the legendary Lizard King himself.

THE MOVIE
by Jim Morrison

The movie will begin in five moments
The mindless voice announced
All those unseated will await the next show.
We filed slowly, languidly into the hall
The auditorium was vast and silent
As we seated and were darkened, the voice continued.
The program for this evening is not new
You've seen this entertainment through and through
You've seen your birth your life and death
you might recall all of the rest
Did you have a good world when you died?
Enough to base a movie on?

I'm getting out of here Where are you going? To the other side of morning Please don't chase the clouds, pagodas
Her cunt gripped him like a warm, friendly hand.

It's alright, all your friends are here When can I meet them? After you've eaten I'm not hungry Uh, we meant beaten

Silver stream, silvery scream
Oooooh, impossible concentration.

Today is a perfect storm of celebrations

Not only is today the 11th day of National Poetry Month, I just found out it's also National 8-Track Day! How do these two celebrations perfectly intertwine with one another? In the memory of my favorite 8-track as a child, combined with the swath of stormy weather plaguing the Midwest over the last day or two.

When I was a kid, I absolutely loved the Irish Rovers' album The Unicorn. I still do, actually... Not the 8-track so much, but I do have it stashed in a box somewhere still because of its sentimental value; never mind that I have copies on vinyl and CD as well. It endures to this day as one of my all-time favorite feel-good albums.

The title track from that album was the only chart hit for the group here in the U.S. (possibly abroad too, though I can't corroborate that). It was penned by the famous comedic poet, Mr. Shel Silverstein. Bear with me, I'm going to tie the perfect storm up in a nice little bow now.

If you are unfamiliar with the lyrics, they happen to be the story of the unicorn's extinction. See, they missed out on Noah's ark ride because they were too busy playing in the rain. Aaaand there's our tie in. It's been raining quite a lot lately, and we have flood warnings and all out here by the Illinois River. Bam!

Anyway, to honor both National Poetry Month and National 8-Track Day, I present to you the lyrics of that classic Irish Rovers tune, "The Unicorn."

THE UNICORN
by Shel Silverstein

A long time ago, when the earth was green
There was more kinds of animals than you've ever seen,
They'd run around free while the earth was bein' born,
And the loveliest of all was the unicorn.
 
There were green alligators and long-neck geese.
Some humpty-back camels and some chimpanzees.
Some catsandratsandelephants, but sure as you're born
The loveliest of all was the unicorn.

Now God seen some sinnin', and it gave him pain.
He said, "Stand back, I'm goin' to make it rain."
He said, "Hey Brother Noah, I'll tell ya what ta do.
Build me a floatin' zoo."

"And take some of them green alligators and long-neck geese,
Some humpty-back camels and some chimpanzees.
Some catsandratsandelephants, but sure as you're born
Don't you forget my unicorn."

Now Noah was there, he answered the call
And finished up making the ark just as the rain started to fall.
He marched in the animals two by two,
And he called out as they went through,

"Hey Lord, I got your green alligators and long-neck geese,
Some humpty-back camels and some chimpanzees.
Some catsandratsandelephants -- but Lord, I'm so forlorn
I just don't see no unicorn."

Ol' Noah looked out through the drivin' rain
Them unicorns were hidin', playin' silly games.
They were kickin' and splashin' as the rain was pourin'.
Oh them silly unicorns.

There were green alligators and long-neck geese,
Some humpty-back camels and some chimpanzees.
Noah cried, "Close the door 'cause the rain is pourin'--
And we just can't wait for no unicorns."

The ark started movin', and it drifted with the tide,
And the unicorns looked up from the rock and they cried.
And the water come up and sort of floated them away--
That's why you've never seen a unicorn to this very day.

You'll see green alligators and long-neck geese.
Some humpty-back camels and some chimpanzees.
Some catsandratsandelephants, but sure as you're born
You're never gonna see no unicorn

Photoshop to the rescue!

Tonight I tackled a tricky project for my friends at the Peoria Ballet. Their performances of Snow White start in just over one week, and they are scrambling to put together the program for the show. Part of that program is a photograph of the featured level 4 dancers. However, when the photographer came to take the picture, one dancer was missing. There is no time for a retake, because the program must get to the printer on time. There's no option other than to digitally manipulate the image using a photo taken for the Nutcracker performances in December 2012.

I do stuff like this all the time, mostly for fun or personal reasons--but this case was particularly challenging because of all the things going on in the Nutcracker photo. That's some troublesome masking. Also, bear in mind I am using Adobe Creative Suite 3 on a five-year-old MacBook. This stuff became a lot easier with CS5 than it was back in the Stone Age of CS3.

It took a few hours as well as a few days' worth of patience, but I am proud of what I ended up with. See below. (Note: I am not the photographer of these images)


The original photo for the Snow White program, missing one dancer

 

The source photo containing the missing dancer (front row, first one in from right), from five months ago

The final version of the Snow White picture, now ready for program inclusion.

Volbeat and King Diamond present a FREE download of new track

Act now to get a FREE high-quality WAV file of Volbeat's newest single featuring the one and only legendary King Diamond on guest vocals. It's a prereleased track from the upcoming Volbeat album Outlaw Gentlemen and Shady Ladies, and it's called "Room 24."

\m/   HORNS UP!   \m/

This weekend: Peoria Ballet presents The Nutcracker

Seats remaining for the Dec 8 show as of this morning (Dec 3) are shown in blue.

If you are in the Peoria-Bloomington area and need a dose of culture or Christmas spirit, head on over to Ticketmaster.com and purchase some tickets for Peoria Ballet's 30th annual presentation of The Nutcracker. There are two shows only -- Saturday December 8 at 7:30 PM and Sunday December 9 at 2:00 PM. Tickets start at only $10, and they're going FAST, especially for the Saturday evening show!



Seats remaining for the Dec 9 show as of this morning (Dec 3) are shown in blue.

Come see my kids and me perform in this seasonal show that has become a holiday tradition in Peoria.
Start a tradition with your own family! Ring in each Christmas season with the premiere classical ballet of the yuletide season.

This year's production features many brand new costumes, all new choreography, and a brand new backdrop that the ballet acquired thanks to a successful Kickstarter campaign that I helped put together!

New IT Manager #2

Yeah, your supervisor... Is just a kiss away. He's just a kiss away.

The Lord of Steel rises to the throne

OK, so this is the last I'll blog specifically about this album. Please indulge me one last time, and I swear you'll never need to hear one more time about The Lord of Steel.

I finally got hold of the retail version tonight--not gonna say where, but let's just say it was a great deal. (And not a SPECK of guilt, mind you.) Let's give it a spin:

1. The Lord of Steel - Still a quite solid track. Great mid-to-fast tempo, almost thrash-type song (reminiscent of "The Power") with an incredible riff that really grabs you. The lyrics are among the least silly on the album. Makes a decent title track and introduction to the album's direction.

2. Manowarriors - Definitely sounds better with this mix, that much is undeniable. Once again, Joey's fuzzy bass is appropriately buried, popping out every now and then for the spotlight. I still dislike the song, but not as much as before. I just really hate that one line, "Never gonna change our style, gonna play tonight for quite a while..." Oh, and I'm not crazy about "We come from different countries with metal and with might, we drink a lot of beers and play our metal loud at night" either. This song seems more camp than metal anthem. As an offhanded aside, Karl Logan's solo reminds me of Vinnie Vincent (what ever happened to that guy?)

3. Born in a Grave - HOLY SHIT! YES! The intro alone is a major improvement. I wish they'd have hit that single clock strike a bit harder after the whispered intro, and of course they drag out the chorus a few too many times at the end, but everything else about this tune is EPIC. This is what I'm talking about! ...And they finally figured out a decent way to end the song too. Perfect!

4. Righteous Glory - I loved this track before, when it was on what I declared an inferior album. This mix is simply amazing--fuller, more emotional, more raw, and more beautiful than just about anything they've ever recorded. This is just the most fantastic and personal song about Valkyries carrying a dead warrior into the sky ever. It's literally haunting, and the final 30 seconds actually brought tears to my eyes and a chill down my spine. This is the band I have grown to adore over the last 25 years.

5. Touch the Sky - Another good track turned great. The new mix is so much more balanced than the previously released version. I don't really care for the breakdown they implemented around 2:15 in the song, but I can get used to it. Being only 3:46 in length, I feel like a bunch of chorus repetitions wouldn't have hurt this song like it affects some of the others. They should have just let the momentum carry it out until the natural end. Still, a wonderful tune.

6. Black List - One of the two tracks I was not looking forward to listening to again, in any form, no matter the mix, especially after seeing that it's still 6:47 in length. It feels like perhaps Joey was unable to compromise on this one with the remixing team, and they left it more or less as-is to satiate his ego and insistence on having a bass-heavy, mostly instrumental song on the album. Whatever happened, at least the mix sounds more full and less tinny and cheap. I still don't "get it" in general, and I continue to dislike the song. I'll be skipping this one every time.

7. Expendable - I like it more now than I did before. Even the old mix has kind of grown on me since first I heard it, though. They didn't do a whole lot to this one in the remix; nothing major anyway except (I believe) making it a tad shorter. Hmmm... Single???

8. El Gringo - Well, my DVD still hasn't arrived from Netflix, but when it gets here I'll be watching it straight away. Gotta see if it's a good match for the song. I did notice that the spaghetti western type theme seems to be a but more buried than before, like in the background, less obvious. The bass is predominant in this one, more so than in the album's earlier tracks. And they figured out some way to stretch this one out to 6:53, which is about a minute and a half too long for me. It reminds me of Neil Young's song "Sample and Hold," from the album Trans, the only Neil Young album I can stand to listen to. I have the LP in my collection (complete with the track list typo), and that particular song is one of my favorites on the platter (remember when they were called that?). When the CD release came out, it had a version that's about twice as long and half as good as that originally released mix. Believe it or not, what I'm saying is that I like the earlier version of "El Gringo" better than this more recent mix.

9. Annihilation - The second track I wasn't really looking forward to listening to, but after listening to it, I'm not sure why I felt that way. It has great drums, kick-ass guitar solos, again reminiscent of Vinnie Vincent for me (are Karl's fingers getting faster?), and not incredibly silly lyrics. By all rights, this turned out to be a decent song.

10. Hail, Kill and Die - This was my absolute least favorite song on the Hammer edition of this album. I really tore this track a new one in my review. I called it shameful. Once I heard the 90-second iTunes preview of this new mix, though, this was the one I was most looking forward to hearing in its full, remixed glory. Man, oh, man. POUNDING rhythm, a simple repeatable chant for the chorus, a great riff, Eric's killer vocals... It now seems like a perfectly logical--and rather welcome--updated version of "Blood of the Kings." It's really a new generation's version of that song I heard closing out the fantastic and best-selling Kings of Metal album in 1988--that song which introduced me to song titles I did not know but I realized at that time I had to seek out no matter the cost. I owe "Hail, Kill and Die," Manowar and Joey DeMaio an apology for my previous comments about this track. Not only was I wrong; I can't wait to hear this one played live. It's going to tear the place apart.

11. The Kingdom of Steel - This is the bonus track which was not released on the Hammer version of the album. I don't know what to think going in, other than that the iTunes preview gave away very little, being the first 90 seconds (mostly Stairway to Heaven-type guitar instrumental lead-in). It's a seven-minute-plus epic that I am hoping will not be too self-indulgent... [Time lapse] It's very plodding in pace... I guess I could have done without most of that 90-second intro, for one... Not sure I care for the chorus, or for the musical direction it goes. I don't know much of anything about music and theory or how to explain what I'm hearing, but I guess the best way I can describe it is that the chorus "goes down" when I was expecting it to "go up." ...And then the song modulates down even more at around 6:00... Seems like the songwriting was not too bad or silly. That is, there's a certain amount of respect given to the subject matter. Where songs like "The Gods Made Heavy Metal," "Die for Metal," and this album's own "Manowarriors" are obviously a bit tongue-in-cheek, this one is more akin to "Master of the Wind." On a side note, twice now I've listened to this song, and both times at 1:52 I get the jeepers creeped out of me by a small, childlike voice calling in distress into my right ear from afar, "Daaaaad!!!" Haha. It's like that "Shaaaane!" that I still, to this day, hear my mother calling from within the frenzied electrical guitar cacophony at the end of "Blood of the Kings."

ALL IN ALL:
Yep. I was wrong. I take it back. Well, most of it, anyway. The Lord of Steel still carries with it a certain cheese factor. But what Manowar release doesn't? However, I stand by my convictions that between this album and Louder Than Hell you will find some of the most pedestrian examples of songwriting in the band's nearly 30-year catalog.

Surprisingly, The Lord of Steel turned out to be a solid addition to that catalog all the same. I still think that 2009's Thunder in the Sky EP is a stronger body of work, but I will definitely be listening to this one again very soon, and probably even singing along before too long. I already do so to at least three tracks. It's a good dog walking or lawn mowing companion.

Thank you, Manowar, for coming through in the end. Oh, but no thanks for that Hammer edition. I'm going to delete it now and never give it another thought (well, maybe when I'm listening to the last half of "El Gringo.")

New list (up two spots to number eight):

1. Battle Hymns MMXI
2. Warriors of the World
3. Kings of Metal
4. Hail to England
5. Fighting the World
6. Gods of War
7. The Triumph of Steel
8. THE LORD OF STEEL
9. Sign of the Hammer
10. Battle Hymns

11. Louder Than Hell
12. Into Glory Ride

Manowar update

This is a followup to my previous Lord of Steel post.

Now that the retail edition has released on iTunes and will be shortly released on CD to the world, and I've also had the opportunity to give the Hammer edition a few more spins, I can confidently say that I was right. :P That Hammer edition sucks balls.

I have heard the 90-second previews of all 11 tracks on iTunes, and just from that little bit of information I can safely say that the mix was the biggest problem with the preview release. Thank God they decided to tone down that overamplified, fuzzy, farting bass guitar in the new mix. Each song snippet I've heard is so much fuller and more powerful than before. Believe it or not, "Hail, Kill and Die" might be one of the stronger tracks on the album now that there's some true, thundering, visceral power behind it.

Now that this album's been out for a while it seems like there's a little bit of backpedaling going on, with the Manowar camp saying the Hammer edition was meant to be a rough cut preview of the final project. That's not what their own hype machine said in June. Back then they billed it as a special edition which, "blazes with pure power, untamed energy, and a sound as raw and wild as a force of nature...features sure-to-slay tracks like El Gringo, Hail, Kill And Die!, Annihilation and Expendable and is an essential album for every true metal fan's collection." It wasn't.

Well, regardless of that fiasco, at least we finally have the definitive version releasing worldwide in a couple of days. I'm curious to hear the rest of that eleventh track, too, as the iTunes preview doesn't really do it justice. I will end up downloading this one, but I doubt I'm going to pay for it if I can get away with it. I'll shore up my guilt by deleting the only copy of the shitty version I already have, never to speak of it again. I did the same thing with Metallica's Death Magnetic when the Guitar Hero version got out, since they really screwed up the mastering on that original release too. My conscience is clear.

Moving on, here's some exciting news:

• Manowar has been tapped to do the soundtrack for an upcoming Jean-Claude Van Damme action flick.
• "Sons of Odin" has been appropriated as the theme song for an online PC RPG-type fighting game called Smite, wherein players take the roles of gods and goddesses from various cultures throughout the history of the world. The game is currently in beta version with over 500,000 players worldwide. A trailer with gameplay featuring the Manowar song can be found on YouTube.
• El Gringo releases on DVD today. It's at the top of my Netflix queue. I'll let you know how it is once I've watched it, and how well the Manowar tune fits it.
• Joey said in a recent radio interview with Eddie Trunk that the band has been approached by two major touring agencies in the US regarding tours that would give us around a dozen US dates each. No word on whether the band will be entertaining their offers yet, but the interest alone is a freaking FANTASTIC piece of news. They are finally making a mark in the States! The rest of 2012 is already on paper, but maybe 2013 can be the year of the Conquest of the Stateside Manowarriors.

Once I've given the retail edition of Lord of Steel a couple of listens, I'll share my views on it. Hopefully that will be by this time next week. I hate to pay for the damn thing, but if I have to I will. It won't be the worst 15 bucks I've ever spent. That would be the dough I coughed up for the Hammer edition.

Raising funds to help the local Arts scene

A non-profit near and dear to my heart, the Peoria Ballet, is currently attempting to raise enough donations to purchase a beautiful hand-painted backdrop for their annual performance of The Nutcracker at the Peoria Civic Center.

The rental fees on this thing are exorbitant, so owning a brand new one outright would be a wonderful boon for the organization, as the financial burden of putting on this traditional show (now in its 30th year) would be eased significantly.

More and more, arts programs are being cut from public schools due to lack of funding. The Peoria Ballet's Nutcracker has a day devoted to two performances just for our local schools. Many of those children will be seeing a production like this for the very first time. Each year I watch from backstage or the side aisles as a hush of wonder falls over those kids when the curtains open. It's an amazing feeling to be a part of inspiring so many young minds at once like that. That is what this production is all about.

Please help the Peoria Ballet maintain the majesty of this gorgeous production while exposing new generations to the classical beauty of the art of ballet, inspiring the dancers of tomorrow year after year. Make your pledge today, even if you have never been to the ballet or live too far away to come take in the show. You can still make a difference.

Visit the Kickstarter page and help the Peoria Ballet keep this Peoria family holiday tradition going strong. And check out the cool PowerPoint video featured on the page. That's my work. Only took about four hours to throw together. :)

HPL Review: The Music of Erich Zann

Art by David Reuss

"The Music of Erich Zann" was the first story of this collection that I read. It's a tale about a man in a boarding house who befriends a mute viol player that keeps a portal to another dimension at bay with his bizarre, dissonant music. Very Lovecraftian without delving into any Cthulhu mythos specifics. No night-gaunts, shoggoths, Great Old Ones, R'lyeh or Dreamlands; just a first-person account of the narrator's maddening encounter with a gateway to a dimension of complete emptiness which may or may not be attempting to spawn eldritch creatures borne of the horrible, unfathomable chilly depths of space itself.
It's a quick, easy read that can be tackled in one sitting. I quite enjoyed it.

As always, the atmosphere is conveyed with skillful mastery by the author. The description of the Rue d'Auseil paints a vivid picture. For some reason, in my mind the town seems to have been designed by Tim Burton or Dr. Seuss, or perhaps it was some sort of collaboration. I see impossibly angular and vertically superlative buildings teetering, yet inexplicably stable, on their practically 90-degree cobbled slope.

The story sucks you in slowly with a stranger coming to town and getting settled. It gradually builds interest as he inquires about the man playing the strange music. The pace begins to quicken as the characters meet and we realize there is probably more to the music than meets the ear. There is no doubt about where the climax comes, as the frantic music is playing, the wind is blowing, the colors are dancing, the lead character is shouting and fighting against the forces which pull from this world into the next... Whew.

What brought the story to my attention in the first place was the song titled "Erich Zann" from the Mythos album by C.G. Gross. I recommend both this story and that CD, especially for the Lovecraft initiate.


GLOSSARY:

Garret: noun | a top-floor or attic room, especially a small, dismal one  |  ex. We took Grandma's rocking chair and tea set to the garret as she instructed in the letter we received prior to her arrival.

Declivity: noun |  a downward slope  |  ex. Seeing Jones' helpless expression and the declivity of the graph he was about to present, the Board of Directors had a pretty solid notion that he was not delivering pleasant news.

Capricious: noun |  given to sudden and unaccountable changes of mood or behavior  |  ex. There is very little in nature than can be as unpredictable as the capricious nature of a premenstrual Tasmanian She-Devil.

Crabbed: adj |  contorted and difficult to understand  |  ex. Due to the arthritis and Parkinson's disease, her crabbed sign language was a nightmare to decipher.

REVIEW: Manowar's newest LP hits some high notes

I have been in possession of Manowar's latest full-length offering, The Lord of Steel, for about a week now, and I've given it several spins in that time. I wanted to be able to give a fair review for this record; I'd say I'm pretty familiar with it by now, and I finally think I can do just that.

First, let me say I'm pleased that the band seems to have abandoned the horrible concept of their Asgard Saga. It sounded cool on paper, but once I saw those dreadfully cheesy video clips of medieval battles and a village being overrun I thought, "Odin, help me."

This album seems to harken back to the type of tracks you might find on 1996's Louder Than Hell. Now, those of you who have read my blog before should know that I don't have an extremely high opinion of that particular disc. Basically, a third of that CD, in my opinion, kinda blows. It's stale and recycled sounding, the songwriting kind of sucks, and the tracks do not take advantage of Eric Adams' insane vocal talents. The other portion, though, is pretty kick-ass, and including one of my favorite Manowar songs, "The Power," and the instrumental I'd like played at my funeral, "Today is a Good Day to Die."

This album is similar to me. There are a couple of real stinkers on the track list. Conversely, we also have two or three genuine treasures.

Track one, the title song, has a killer riff, punishing drum work by Donnie Hamzik, and the vocals are in line with their most recent stuff, though not quite allowing Adams to really shine and show off his power and range. It's a catchy tune in the vein of "Thunder in the Sky." The lyrics are fairly un-silly and straightforward. One of the better tracks.

Track two, "Manowarriors," is not only unnecessary, as we Manowar fans already have a solid and respectable theme ("Army of Immortals" from Hail to England), but the lyrics are downright laughable. (Sorry, Joey.) Get a load of this: "Never gonna change our style, gonna play tonight for quite a while." Wow. "Quite a while?" Boy, that's really in-your-face. And the chanting dudes are getting a bit old. We can sing along without the Kidz Bop for adults call-and-response bullshit. Second worst track on the album. Yep, sadly, there's one even worse yet to discover.

Track three is is the awesome song "Born in a Grave." It's fresh sounding (though reminiscent of "Gods of War"), lyrically unique, musically interesting, and not too repetitive. I'd like to point out that two of the tracks which immediately stood out to me as highlights on this disc were the only two tracks on which Joey DeMaio shared writing credits. I've been thinking for a few years now that part of the problem with this band is that it sometimes suffers from the well-meaning but massively overinflated ego of Joey DeMaio (liner notes: "all songs written, engineered, recorded, edited and produced by Joey DeMaio, [who plays] 4 string, 8 string, piccolo bass guitars and keyboards."). I think this album proves yet again that a little bit of new blood in the songwriting process would be beneficial to the band.

Track four is the other song on which Joey shared writing credits with Karl Logan. "Righteous Glory" is possibly one of the most musically beautiful songs Manowar has ever recorded. The vocal layering and power in the first chorus will bring you chills. It's not a new theme (Valkyries carrying slain warriors to Valhalla), but it's never been done quite like this... Except in "Swords In the Wind," of course. This one immediately stood out to me as the best track on the disc. It's the only one I listened to twice in a row during my first exposure to the album. Another testament to the idea that Joey needs to back off a bit and let some creative juices take the band wherever it should go.

Track five is DeMaio's writing highlight on the album and the third-best tune on it, "Touch the Sky." It is reminiscent of Louder Than Hell's "Number One," thankfully sans the stupid chanting crap. It's a solid track and a welcome addition to the Manowar catalog. I look forward to hearing it live even though it plays the vocals and lead guitars pretty safe all the way through.

"Black List" begins sounding like an instrumental, only an incredibly lackluster one. After two minutes in, I started thinking that maybe they forgot to mix in a vocal track or something. All it is up to that point is a plodding rhythm guitar and drums, perfect for adding vocals over but horrible as a standalone piece. Then it goes silent for a second at around 2:30 and the vocals kick in after the song starts back up. But it starts with the chorus. It feels very odd to have the chorus delivered to you after two and a half minutes of nothing leading up to it. Then we get a solo followed by a short bridge and two more choruses. WTF? This is a waste of seven minutes. I want them back. Worst decision since "Achilles, Agony and Ecstasy in Eight Parts."

Track seven is "Expendable." This song was inspired by the brainless yet entertaining action movie The Expendables. This song could easily have been the theme song to that film, as they were both cut from the same cloth. Seriously, though, this is a pretty cool track. One of the better ones on the disc. And not a single mention of Norse mythology. Whew. On a side note, whoever spell checked the liner notes and lyric sheets should have their head removed. "...Your watching on the outside - Yea that's all you people know - So bring a knife or a gun - and I'll show you what their for..." and "...I will survive with no one left around me - cause your all gonna die..." Shame on you, Magic Circle. Hire me. I can proofread like a sonuvabitch.

The eighth track, "El Gringo," actually is the theme song from a movie. An independent, direct-to-video Western movie with a whopping budget of $7M. Christian Slater is in it. Third billing. You might recognize the top-billed star from his work in... Aw, never mind. Well, at least it makes for a cool tune. In keeping with the comparison of this album with Louder Than Hell, this is Lord of Steel's "Outlaw." Solid, with only a little bit of that Manowar cheese factor.

The penultimate track, "Annihilation," is a so-so effort that feels a bit empty. Some recycled lyrics pieced together from older songs. A confusing theme on this one. It starts out as a typical Manowar vengeance and justice vehicle, but at the end it seems to flirt with creeping into the metal anthem territory. At the last moment it seems to come to its senses and snap back into that "hand of justice" trope. I don't know. This song is actually kind of a mess.

By the time the final track rolls around, I'm ready to end it. It's rare that a Manowar disc ends with its worst track, but this is a fine example. This song just pisses me off. It's completely unnecessary, and it feels like an exploitation of their own work. Crafting an entire song out of the titles of previous songs is hard to do and make it not sound retarded. They already did it successfully with the classic, "Blood of the Kings," so why even attempt it again? This is just shit. Possibly one of the worst songs they ever recorded. It's a shame. When a band has the ability to round out an album with a barrage of bad-assedness like on Warriors of the World or Fighting the World, to fizzle out with a piece of shit song like this should be embarrassing.

Overall, I place this album somewhere near the bottom of my fave scale, which I included in my comprehensive post about Manowar back in February. Probably right above Louder Than Hell. That would make the updated list:

1. Battle Hymns MMXI
2. Warriors of the World
3. Kings of Metal
4. Hail to England
5. Fighting the World
6. Gods of War
7. The Triumph of Steel
8. Sign of the Hammer
9. Battle Hymns

10. The Lord of Steel
11. Louder Than Hell
12. Into Glory Ride

Note, though, that these are full-length releases only. 2009's Thunder in the Sky was technically an EP, but I'd place it pretty high on the list if I could, probably right below Kings of Metal. I think it's some of their finest work of late. If you could take the entirety of Thunder in the Sky and combine it with three of the strongest tracks from Lord of Steel, you'd have one hell of an album.

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