Another great one bites the dust

Naughty, buxom, supersexy post-WWII pinup girl & stag film star Bettie Page has died. She definitely left a legacy behind her. The woman is a legend. Man, imagine all the monkeys that have been spanked to her iconic images over the last 60 years... She definitely did her part to usher in the sexual revolution.

R.I.P. Bettie Page. Your body has passed, but the fantasy of your flesh lives on, forever young.

A couple of things are on my mind this morning

Okay, first off: did you know Dec 7-13 is National Handwashing Awareness Week? Please observe and teach your children proper handwashing techniques. What? Soap and water? Hell no, it's not that simple! Listen, you've got to count to twenty, scrub under your nails... It's a very complicated affair. Aw, fer cryin' out loud, just let Henry the Hand explain it!

Now, on to a movie review; something new for me. I rented and watched The Dark Knight last night... What's the big deal about this movie? Maybe I was expecting too much, but I thought it was too long, choppy in places with plot holes, and just overall a fairly good movie, but nowhere near as good as Batman Begins or even the original Batman.

For instance, how the hell did the Joker get out of police custody? He was in the interrogation cell with that cop, who was about to beat the crap out of him, then suddenly he was out of the cell with a knife to the guy's throat. What happened in between seems pretty important to me.

And way before that, there was the first scene when Joker was telling his scar story. He's got a knife to someone's mouth and just as he's about to cut, he drops the body instead. And the guy's already dead. Seems like there was a scene cut there or something, perhaps to attain a PG13? I thought the DVD had skipped, except I didn't get my usual "SKIPPING OVER DAMAGED AREA" notice on the MacBook screen.

Now, my first example I can explain away as having to do with Ledger's death. Perhaps they just hadn't gotten around to finishing that scene. I suppose a little choppiness is to be expected, and thus is forgiveable. To a point.

However, the second scene could have been done as a closeup gross-out scene. That would undoubtedly have pushed it to an R rating, but I think the film suffered for its exclusion. There's all this tension built up in that scene, and then it just falls flat, literally, without that explosive release. What a letdown.

And Joker escapes time and again from the clutches of the Bat and police. How did he get out of Wayne's fundraiser? We don't know. The list goes on.

Let's not forget the death of Harvey Dent. I just don't understand the idea of introducing a kickass character like that and offing him in the same movie. For me, this was like the premature demise of the most kickass Sith Lord ever, Darth Maul. I wanted to see that sumbitch wipe the floor with Jedis for another two movies. It's such an anticlimax to see a seriously evil dude get killed so soon. I'd hoped they were setting up Two-Face to be a key player in the next film.

How the hell does Batman fly... sorry, "glide" like that? Was it in the other movie & I just don't remember it? Was the movie too dark to see it?

And apparently, placing some kind of a super-strong bat-cable across the road in front of an oncoming semi trailer is enough to transfer its forward momentum into enough upward momentum to flip it end-over end! WTF?!?! Those damn movie physics...

Rant, rant, rant. Sorry. I know, I know. I expect too much. But, just like I enjoy a kung fu movie as long as there's no wire work, I like a good action shoot 'em up, as long as there is some grounding in basic reality, like the laws of physics (gravity, momentum, space-time continuum). Even for a comic book movie. When you do more than bend one of these laws for effect, you're now making a science fiction movie, and the suspension of that law should be the latest plot point. Batman should have stood there and said, "Holy shit. That semi just flipped over. That was weird. I just hoped to slow it down, but that just plain shouldn't have happened. At all. Not on this planet, anyway." Then he'd realize he was levitating three feet off the ground.

But I digress. My review: Maybe rent it if you haven't seen it. But don't buy it. If you have seen it, watch Batman Begins again instead. Or American Psycho for an even better Christian Bale movie. And one more thing. To the Academy: Please don't give Ledger a silly posthumous Oscar. His performance was good, but not Oscar-worthy.

But these are just my opinions. Have a great Christmas everyone.

Happenin's

Hooray for me! I just successfully installed my first wireless router. My new home is finally wireless, at least for Internet purposes. Too bad I had to discover a leaky roof today as well. DAMN YOU, GUSTAV! Oh well, at least this way I know about it and can get it fixed.

Man, home is startin' to come together: wireless web surfing from any location, the kids have a playroom in the basement that can keep them out of our hair when we need alone time, DVRs connected to every TV... I watched Metalocalypse in the kitchen today while I cooked lunch, fer cryin' out loud! How cool is that?

Now, to finish unpacking the rest of these damned boxes...

Cleanliness is next to godliness

My wife, Heather, called me at work today and said, "I'm at Target and this monk just walked in." Of course I asked her how the rest of the joke went; was he was alone, or did a priest and rabbi walk in with him?

I also asked if he was carrying around a wooden plank, and if so, how was he pushing his shopping cart. (pie jesu domine, dona eis requiem -SMACK-)

We determined on the phone that it was a legit monk and not a dude in a Ruby's Halloween costume, though we decided he could just as easily have been a friar because we don't know the difference. They seem to have the same uniform.

Then we wondered what exactly a monk would buy at Target, so she kept an eye out for him or followed him around or something. I don't know. We joked about the things he could buy that would be most entertaining, condoms being on the top of the list. Also, sneakers, sandals, razors, rope, a bell, a bookmark, candles, you get the idea.

How does a monk get to Target, anyway? Is there a monastery anywhere near Peoria? I pictured him thumbing a lift from some Amish folk in a wagon. LOL.

Heather called me back after a bit. "A mop, a toilet brush, and Pine-Sol." Well, whaddaya know. They have indoor plumbing at the dirty monkery.

Summer vacation 2008, part 5

Thursday:

We waken around 7:00 and all get up and dressed. We begin gathering our stuff and I go grab the van so we can hop right in after breakfast. All five of us go to the dining room and have some grub. After breakfast, Ashley, Calliope, Brandon & I hit the miniature golf course while Heather goes to get her fired pottery. Brandon whoops me at mini golf.

After the game, everyone piles into the van & it's off to Swansea. A couple hours later, we're at Heather's parents' house & trading vans again so we can take our newly repaired van home. Of course, though, it doesn't start. I stick the battery on the charger for 90 minutes or so, and we eventually get it started. Heather takes the van to NTB and replaces the battery. Then, we have dinner at Outback with Sharon & the little kids beg to stay a couple more days.

We go along with it and leave Ash & Calliope there with Nana. After a brief trip to the newest metro east Target store, in Swansea, Brandon, Heather & I head home. We finally arrive around 10:30pm and head STRAIGHT to bed. Exhausted!

Summer vacation 2008, part 4

Wednesday:

Today is the day we pick up Ashley from minicamp! We miss him and can't wait to see him, and Calliope has even said she misses him.

We rise at the typical 6:30 or so, take our time getting around and ready for breakfast, and eventually make it to the dining hall about 8:00. For breakfast, I set my sights on bacon, eggs, toast and oatmeal with cinnamon and honey. Milk to drink, as always. Yum.

After eating, Brandon & I take Calliope to her Adventurer Camp, where we learn she will have playmates today. Three other kids are attending this time (she was all alone on Monday). While we take care of that, Heather arranges for us to stay an additional night, so we can do some stuff with Ashley. Afterward, we head over to the Arts & Crafts building so Heather can finish her pottery. While she works on that, Brandon & I shoot some hoops. Once Heather is done, I run up to the parking lot to grab the van & the three of us go to Camp Lakewood to get Ash.

When we open the cabin door, he's hiding under a bed. He's one of the last two boys in his group to be claimed. We give hugs and kisses, see lots of smiles and hear about all kinds of cool stuff he did. After chatting with the counselors a bit, we gather up the last of his stuff and pack into the van. We decide to make a stop at the Trading Post to burn up the rest of his account there (and spend a bit more as well). We get Nerf-type slingshot missiles for Ash and Calliope, as well as a squishy Koosh ball for each. He also gets a Lakewood tee shirt and Brandon and I get a pair of those blaster balls that explode when you smack 'em together.

Back to the room, and we get Ashley a shower (he hasn't had one since Monday) and get cleaned up to grab sissy and go to lunch. I have ham & turkey sandwich with white American on Rye, salad and a couple of chicken rings. After lunch, the kids go down for a nap and Brandon & I take some down-time outside on the dock near our room. We sit and practice the Jew's Harp for an hour or so, goof around on video tape, then take a walk so I can snap some nature photos. It's a gorgeous day, a bit overcast, so the sun's not killing us. Swimming later will be nice since it's not extremely hot like it's been the past couple days.

After nap, at 2:00, comes the rocketry class we signed up for. We build four rockets and walk down past the tennis courts to launch them at 3:00. My nosecone and Heather's stay attached, but Ashley's and Brandon's blow completely off. Fun time.

Next, we gather laundry (especially Ashley's smelly camp duds) to take to the on-site laundry facility. While Heather gets that started, Brandon, Ash & I have an archery appointment. Calliope comes along to watch.

First round, Brandon hits the target a few times, I hit three of five, and Ash (with the help of the instructor) misses completely. Ashley gets to try again, since there are only two lefties in the group, and he gets closer, again with the instructor's help. Next time up, I adjust my aiming technique and manage to hit the target all five times, even getting two bullseyes. Brandon does about the same. By the last go round, I get four of five bullseyes, with one being in the next ring out, Ashley hits the target TWO TIMES (boy, is he HAPPY!), and Brandon is hunting in the woods behind the targets for a couple of his arrows. LOL.

After finishing our final activity, it's about 5:00. We reconnect with Heather and go to the lodge for dinner. Afterward, it's down to the beach with all of us. There's not a soul in sight, other than lifeguards. I guess right after or during dinner is not a prime swimming time slot. We spend a good hour or so swimming & Ash even goes down the little slide into the water a couple times. Just as we decide get out & run over to the Country Store for some ice cream, an enormous horsefly chases us out of the water. It's freakin' hilarious to watch.

While the rest of the family eat their cones, I retrieve our clean laundry from the on-site facility. Then, it's off to our room for showers, jammies & bedtime for all, even me. Another awesome day. One morning left to go, then it's back to work on Friday.

Summer vacation 2008, part 3

Tuesday:

We wake up this morning around 6:30, as usual. Everyone gets dressed and I bring some clothes in that we had set outside wet, to dry. We gather the dirty clothes together in bags, so we can take them into town to launder today. It is to be an adventure day today, with spontaneous activities instead of planned ones. Well, except for the pony ride. That comes after breakfast.

So we head down to breakfast at our usual 8am. I go for two sausage patties, a scoop of scrambled eggs, two biscuits (one covered with gravy) some OJ and milk. Yummilicious. Then, it's off to the Triangle-Y Ranch for Calliope's pony ride. Whee! Fun! Done.

After the ride, the plan is to head out to the Berryman Trail to see if we can find Heather's old Lakewood stamping grounds, in particular a stretch of creek that she used to stop at during horse overnights, and a general store they used to go to as well when she was a little camper herself. As we were about to leave the ranch, Heather spots Ashley with his camp group, playing in a stream over the hill from the ranch. We park the van and run across the road to hide behind a line of trees and watch him to see if he's having fun. I bring the video camera.

They are playing a game where one of the counselors is apparently a monster called "Crawdad," who like to kidnap children and take them down- or upstream. To quell his hunger for child flesh, they must all band together and beat him silly with pool noodles, while he throatily chants "Crawdad, Crawdad, Crawdad!" Ash is having fun. He's wearing his camouflage jammies for some reason, but he's smiling and having a good time. It makes me happy, but makes me miss him even more. I can't wait to see him again tomorrow. He's gonna be so grown up. Hope he doesn't greet us carrying a cigar and a snifter of brandy: "Hello mother. Good to see you again, father. How've you been?"

So we go for a drive, kinda blindly, through Mark Twain National Forest, looking for a specific but unnamed creek. It's kinda like looking for a needle in a needle stack. A good hour later, the immediate goal becomes getting out of the park and figuring out how to get back to Potosi so we can do our laundry and grab some lunch. By 1:00 or so, we make it back to town and stop at the laundromat to get some clothes in the wash.

Leaving the clothes there to launder, we run to Taco Hell for lunch, hoping it will be better than it is in Illinois. Not really any different. Oh well. Haven't had it in ages, so it was still kinda nice even though it was sucky. So we go back to put our stuff in dryers, then leave it there again & run to Walmart to return a shitty watch Heather got me a couple days ago.

Once we get back to the laundromat, of course only half of it is dry, so we pull out what's done, restart the rest, and run to gas up the van, cuz it's only $3.49 per gallon here. After the gas, we are able to retrieve the rest of the laundry and try one more time for the creek and general store.

We do find a general store that may or may not have been the right one, but Heather talks to the attendant and is told that the creek she's looking for is probably right up the road. She tells Heather as she leaves the store, "I hope you find your memories."

We drive down the gravel road she directs us to, and we find a kickass stream. Brandon, Calliope, Heather & I climb down the bank and hop in up to our ankles. We make our way along with the current and find an honest-to-gosh swimmin' hole, rope swing and all. Calliope has her bathing suit on, but the rest of us give in to the urge and hop in wearing our clothes. Wow. What a memorable experience. I am sooooooo glad we did this today.

Brandon swings out a few times and plops in the stream. Heather and Brandon float on their backs and have a race downstream. Calliope and I chuck rocks into the creek and swim around in the shallower bits. This may not be the right stream, or at least not the right area of the right stream, but it's definitely a fantastic find. It's hard to say how long we stay there, but it's at least an hour.

I feel the urge to take off, so we can get back for dinner, so we take off just as another family is showing up to our "secret swimming hole." Ten minutes after we leave, the rain starts. We get back to our room & unpack the clean clothes in enough time for dinner. I get chicken pot pie and green beans, lots of water again, and celery with peanut butter for dessert. After eating, we manage to beat the storm back to the Arts & Crafts building, where Heather plans to finish her mug. However, they are closed, so we decide to go to a barn dance instead.

The dance is fun. Heather & I do the Electric Slide & three or four other country line dances, the kids join in for the Hokey Pokey and the Chicken Dance, and we finish with the Cha-Cha Slide. When we leave, it's about 8:30 and the storm is in full force. Instead of going right to our room, we grab a couple of games at the front desk and take them to a lounge for all of us to play.

Calliope, Brandon & I play "Lucky Ducks" while Heather runs to the room to get our snacks. Upon her return, Heather, Brandon & I play Boggle for six rounds while Calliope draws a picture. I win. 54 to 43 to 21. Boo-ya!

Finally, back to the room for beddy-bye. And here I am, last one standing, at 11:30 pm, wrapping up this chapter of my blog for you. Done now til Part IV. Talk to you tomorrow.

Summer vacation 2008, part 2

Monday:

Up at 6:30, and I take a few pics of the sun on Lake Sunnen. We need to kill some time before our scheduled breakfast, and I decide to do some blogging. Thus is born Part I. We head down to breakfast a bit later-- for me, French toast, cheesy omelet, hash brown casserole, milk and cappuccino.

After breakfast, we all take Calliope to Explorer Camp (shhh- it's for 4 and up). She's the only little explorer today. One of the counselors is Daniel from last night's Musical Canoe adventure. Then, Brandon & I have the Alpine Tower to conquer at 9:30am. A three-sided tower with all the choices in the world as far as how you climb. We climb simultaneously, but I reach the first platform first, about 20 feet up. Brandon chose climbing up the side of the inclined cargo net- pretty hard. I wait for him a bit, then begin my climb up the inclined telephone pole with rock wall holds. Then I get to a straight vertical pole & have to climb up it. My muscles begin burning and my fear of heights is REALLY nagging me. I make it to about 40 feet and perch myself on a single cable, hugging my telephone pole to save my life.
Brandon hasn't really left the platform yet, my muscles are spent, and I realize I'm not gonna make it to the top. I wait it out a few minutes as Brandon climbs below me, but it's no use. I have to rappel down.
Brandon continues his climb and eventually makes it to where I was. I snap photos from the ground of his ascent. From there, he stutters, but keeps on truckin' all the way to the top. 50 FEET UP! Wow! Nice job, dude!

Only 10:00, and already it's HOT! We are drenched in sweat. We go back to the room to rest a bit & I practice my Jew's Harp a little. Brandon goes swimming for a little while, but I'm not movin'. Heather has run into town to get some more supplies, so Brandon & I chill a bit & check out some YouTube vids.

Once Heather gets back, we all go get Calliope and head to lunch. I have two bowls of chili and some milk. Then, it's off to Arts & Crafts to paint some pottery. Calliope makes the ugliest damned ice cream cone I have ever seen. Black ice cream? Really? Yuck. I go for a tiny chiminea, Brandon paints a monkey, and Heather begins work on an enormous mug.
We run out of time, because Brandon & I have the Summit Zip at 2:00. Heather is the only one not finished, so she places hers on the "unfinished" rack and we go back. Brandon & I do our afternoon zipline & then some rifle shootin' while Calliope lies down for a nap & Heathehr hangs out in the room.

Zipline was cooler this time vs. two years ago, cuz we got to race. They put in a parallel zip. So I climb up first, then wait for Brandon. We sit next to one another on the platform. It's FRICKIN' HOT! 3, 2, 1, Go! 30 feet up, 500 feet long. Awesome run, and Brandon wins. We get it done just in time, because at that point they begin shutting down the more strenuous activities due to the heat. The temperature today reaches 102, with a heat index of 116. Luckily, we have a less strenuous activity scheduled next- riflery.

So we drive partway down and walk the rest of the way to the rifle range. We take the second round for our turn and take a seat at the guns. It's hot, man. I have my glasses off and the safety glasses on, plus we have our ear protection-headphone-thingies on & the sweat is dripping down into our eyes while the goggles fog up from the inside. Aiming carefully, we let fly with our guns. Brandon hits the target all five times, including one bullseye. I manage all five bullseyes (again, just like two years ago), with two in the same hole, Robin Hood-style. Found something I'm evidently good at, despite the shitty vision. Perhaps I should hit the firing range sometime.

Brandon & I make our way back to the room where Calliope is still napping. We regale Heather with tales of our exploits & chill out for a bit. Once Calliope wakes, we all go out to the beach. Calliope & I build a sand castle and we all do some lake swimming. As it nears dinner time, we start to head in. We gather our stuff and come in for showers before going up to dinner.

I have a big salad with cottage cheese, chicken 'n dumplings, tater tots and corn, with Mountain Dew to drink. After mealtime, which of course was delicious, we come back to the room and pop "Robots" in the Mac, lie on the beds & kinda let Calliope have the run of things for a while. Come 9:00, Brandon & I head out for our final event of the day, the Moonlight Zip.
We go in a group of about 15 on a dark hike about 100 yards into the woods, to the site of a zipline. Here's the deal: You hook in, take off running down a pitch-black hill, and eventually the ground disappears out from under you. You zip over a valley for about 300 feet and rise up on the zip cable. Your only illumination is the stars in the sky, through the treetop canopy. Gravity brings you back down the line to your starting hill, where you go to the top and then run down to do the same thing over again. Three times each. Very cool, very enjoyable, worth the 90 minutes and $20 each we invested in it.

Then, back to the room where the girls are in bed. We take turns showering (still friggin' hot as hell out there) and hit the sack. Aaaahhhh......

Summer vacation 2008, part 1

Saturday:
Leave Peoria and head to Belleville to visit with Heather's parents. Get some work done on the van while we're there (since like the ONLY mechanic we trust lives there. -- FOSTER'S AUTOMOTIVE -- They do GREAT work.)
Have dinner with her folks that evening at Hometown Buffet in Fairview Heights. Tolerable food, as usual. Heather & the kids are in bed that night by 8:30. Brandon & I stay up shooting the breeze another hour.

Sunday:
Get up at 4am after a crappy sleepless night. Bed sucks, pillow sucks, hot as hell in that room of the house, cat hair in the air, ACHOO! Get the family in the van & leave around 5am for Missouri. Stop at 6:00 for breakfast at the Waffle House- YUM. We try to get breakfast there at least every other time we come down here.
Back on the road. Arrive at Trout Lodge in Potosi, MO around 9:00. We can't check in yet, so we pre-register and head to the Country Store to schedule our events. First event: Summit Cilmb & Rappel. Brandon & I begin gearing up at 10:00. Brandon goes first. Here are the details:
1. Climb 15 feet up a telephone pole to an attached log. Walk up the log, which is inclined, about 25 feet log with a rise of maybe an additional 5 feet, to another pole.
2. Hook into a new safety line, off the belay, and cross 20 feet to the next pole, walking across two WOBBLY cables (20 feet up, remember). It's called "Tired Two Legs."
3. Hook into a new safety line and cross about 10 feet on two parallel 2x6's, edge up.
4. Hook into a belay line & climb the next telephone pole an additional 10 feet up to cross a vertical rope 'X' that's about 20 feet long. The top rope & bottom rope cross in the center, where the top becomes the bottom & vice versa.
5. Off belay, on new safety line. Climb into the center of a rope web & rappel down thru the center from 30 feet.
Brandon does great. I... cheat, kinda. On "Tired Two Legs," I just decide to leap off the pole and see how far my body weight and momentum can carry me before I have to use my legs. I make it 3/4 of the way, then finish strong.
For step 4, I begin climbing out on the rope with my eyes closed, then about 4 feet out decide to go for the leap again. I pull myself along with the top rope until I can use both ropes again comfortably. Screw that stupid 'X'.
After that, lunch. Fried chicken, roast beef, mac n cheese, mashed taters, green beans, LOTS OF WATER.
Then we all go tie-dye some tee shirts together. Lots of fun and we all did a different pattern. After that, it's time to take Ashley to register for his overnight camp at YMCA Camp Lakewood. We get him to his cabin to meet his three counselors- Schizo, Violet and Mischief. I make up Ashley's bed and we get him all settled & give hugs & kisses & take off back to Trout Lodge.
Brandon, Heather, Calliope & I make a run to WalMart for supplies & then come back, register for new events at the Country Store. After that, we come back to the lodge & get checked in to our room, where we unpack. Soon after comes dinner. Yum. I love the food here. I have baked pollack filets with curry rice and taters au gratin with iced tea.
The four of us hop in a canoe after dinner & row across the lake to campfire, where we sing songs along with a guitar-toting Aussie camp counselor. On the last ditty, "Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)," I whip out my Jew Harp and twang along. Lots of grins round the fire.
Back to the room, where Heather & Calliope shower. Brandon & I head out for a moonlight hike at 9pm, for an hour. When we get back, a quick snack of trail mix, plus a shower, then... BED! Finally! What a fantastic day, though.

More to come.

Happy Pi Day!

What better day to celebrate that most elusive and mysterious of irrational numbers than on 3/14? Sure, you could think of Pi as simply a circle’s circumference divided by its diameter, but it’s so much more than that. That alone is crazy enough, since in a "perfect" circle, circ/diam will NEVER be anything other than 3.14yadayada..... Pi wouldn’t be as amazing if it were a whole number. We wouldn’t be nearly as amazed to see it recurring in nature if it were simply "3." Big deal.

Okay, I realize most folks don’t share my enthusiasm for mathematical wonders, so I’ll move on, but let me suggest some reading first. To learn a BIT more about Pi and Pi Day, see this article. Or, to be amazed on a deeper level about not just Pi, but the equally if not more amazing Phi, or the "Golden Ratio," check out this book. I own it and love it.

Alright, enough of that for the day. But I would like to know why the blog categories in the drop-down menu during blog creation lack something like "Science and Nature." I’m sure I’m not the first geek to write about something other than "Parties and Nightlife." Get on that, Tom! Someboody send him an email, because Tom is not my friend.

Re: Vatican releases new list of sins

Those crazy fuckers at the Vatican are at it again:

__________________________________________________________________________________

Monday, Mar. 10, 2008 By AP

(VATICAN CITY) — A Vatican official has listed drugs, pollution, genetic manipulation and social and economic injustices as new areas of sinful behavior.

Sins increasingly manifest themselves as behavior that damages society as a whole, Monsignor Gianfranco Girotti said in an interview published Sunday by the Vatican's daily newspaper, L'Osservatore Romano.

"While sin used to concern mostly the individual, today it has mainly a social resonance, due to the phenomenon of globalization," said Girotti, who heads the Apostolic Penitentiary, a Vatican body that issues decisions on matters of conscience and grants absolutions.

Catholic teaching distinguishes between lesser venial sins and mortal sins.

Listing the new areas of sinful behavior, Girotti denounced "certain violations of the fundamental rights of human nature through experiments, genetic manipulations."

He also mentioned drugs — which "weaken the mind and obscure intelligence" — pollution, and the widening social and economic differences between the rich and the poor.

Girotti said the Catholic Church continued to be concerned by other sinful acts, including abortion and pedophilia.

He said Church authorities had reacted with "rigorous measures" to child abuse scandals within the clergy, but he also claimed that the issue had been excessively emphasized by the media. 

_________________________________________________________________________________

What? Drugs? Like... wine? Doesn't it "weaken the mind and obscure intelligence"? Yeah, right, I really believe the Cathoholic Church is going to admit that alcohol is a drug--the most widely used psychoactive drug in the world, in fact. That'll be the day. Yet again, the church shows us its hypocrisy and knack for inconsistency.

And, "thy shall not POLLUTE THY ATMOSPHERE???" What the hell?! These guys just keep on making shit up, don't they? If their book is so damned holy and perfect, why do they have to keep issuing addenda to it? They've even redefined the meaning of "sin." Here I always thought it meant "to fall short of the mark; miss; err." Now they tell me it has to do with global-social responsibilities. I'm sorry, was that the King James or NIV that says we need to reduce our carbon footprint to get into heaven?

Hooray! Back to work for the WGA!

This means I'll get more episodes of LOST! ...And maybe Carlton & Damon will return to their podcast now?

Don't know the terms of their agreement, but I'm glad they reconciled. Although, I was starting to think it might be an interesting world if the WGA had been told to take a hike.

Imagine... A nation where novice writers control our entertainment and foreign films are suddenly number one at the box office. DVD sales go through the roof as people scramble to purchase the movies they love, because all the good stuff has already been made. The WGA members are blacklisted and are relegated to writing novels, black market scripts and novelizations of the rubbish the scabs send to the big screen. TV is only reality and reruns. MTV has to go back to showing music videos. Cats and dogs living together. Real "wrath of God"-type stuff. Apologies (but no royalties) to Mr. Aykroyd and Mr. Ramis.

Anyway, all I care about is that they finally end Prison Break and LOST with an actual finale that ties up all the loose ends. I know LOST will be another few seasons, but PLEASE, Fox, PLEASE end Prison Break next season. I don't think I can take much more of this on-the-edge-of-my-seat-cliffhanger-abuse. This has GOT to be the most suspenseful show on TV, ever! Seriously, let's end it while it's still good. I really don't want to see one of my favorite shows jump the shark. Kill it before you're tempted to air "tonight, on a very special Prison Break..."

Changing the Constitution?

At one point I had made a resolution to myself that I would post at least one new blog a week. My wife, Heather, always said I was a good writer, and what better way to improve than with practice. Well, I've fallen short of my goal recently, even going so far as to dig up old shit I can throw on here instead of coming up with something fresh, and still feel like I was keeping my promise. But I knew I was cheating. To that end, I will now renew my vow afresh.

I could blame my lack of blogging enthusiasm lately on all the shit that's been going on lately at home & work. Heather's been ill, we've made trips, big plans for the marriage vow renewal & all, taking on new responsibilities at work, etc. In fact, I will blame it on all that.

There's plenty of crap in the news going on to blog about. Good grief, the road to the White House alone is paved with idiocy and unconstitutional effrontery. Let's begin there.

Mike Huckabee... What can be said? In his own words, he said he wants the Constitution changed to reflect the laws of God. He was referring in particular to defining "marriage" in the Constitution as a bond between "one man and one woman." Did he forget about all the polygamy in the Bible? It was championed in the Old Testament! Howe many wives did King Solomon have? 1000? King David? At least 18. Good old "Father" Abraham? At least three. In its silence about such situations, which are NUMEROUS in the Bible, the Book endorses polygamy.

Not only does the Bible seem to support polygamy in the Old Testament, but Jesus made it clear in Matthew 5:17-18 that everything set forth in the Old Testament still stands in the New Testament. "Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished."

But that's not my problem with Mr. Huckabee. And of course he isn't railing against the rapid spread of polygamy either. He wants, of course, like Bush before him, to put an end once and for all in this country to the notion of gay marriage. But I'm sure there's a more broad intention as well, across all prevailing issues. I can't believe that someone aspiring to the highest seat in the nation would so blatantly voice his desire to violate the establishment clause. I know I don't need to explain the separation of church and state to my readers. "Congress shall make no law..." Mr. Huckabee needs to figure out how to reconcile his faith with the best interests of the "free" people of this country. Last I checked, we were free to make decisions in our own lives. My country cannot tell me who I can and can't love or choose to live my life with in a committed relationship.

And don't even get me started on that douchebag Alan Keyes. Glad he's not even a contender.