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Thursday, May 6, 2010

LMAO: "Stairway to Hell" by Rick Jones

Got this book recently for the fun of it. It is just nuts to think that people bought this shit hook, line and sinker in 1988. I'm literally laughing out loud only three pages into the introduction.
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"The real message is heard when that part of the song is played backwards. Here are the devilish lyrics Led Zeppelin has been sneaking into your brain all these years:

'I sing because I live with Satan.
The Lord turns me off.
There's no escaping it.
No other made a path.
Here's to my sweet Satan.
Whose power is Satan.
He will give you 666.
I live for Satan'


Millions are deceived by this song. They don't know that every time they play it, two things are happening:
1. They are listening to servants of Satan pledge their allegiance to their master.
2. Listeners are being programmed to accept Satan as the master and destroyer of their own lives."
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HAHAHA! The sad thing is, bullshit like this was EVERYWHERE in the mid- to late-'80s. And parents were SCARED. Remember bands on trial? Repressed memories of ritual abuse? Remember the PMRC? This whole stupid-ass "subliminal messages" idea? Incredible. What I want to know is, if we, the kids at that time, knew these nimrods were just spouting cockamamie theories, how the hell were the adults so easily duped?

Of course, we now know that perceived "messages" on records when played in reverse are probably in most cases nothing more than an auditory form of pareidolia, or the same property of the brain that lets us see clear pictures of things in cloud formations. Our minds crave order, like to see patterns in chaos. Even if the patterns aren't really there- we'll unconsciously make leaps and create connections where there are none.

And for those messages which were INTENTIONALLY placed... Who gives a crap? I've yet to see some proof that backs up the fact that behavior alteration is even possible through "subliminal" messages, particularly REVERSED ONES. All I know for sure is that the English language sounds effing creepy when you play it backwards. But is it sinister? No more so than the same thing said forward.

I can't wait to dig into this book some more. I need a good laugh.

By the way, if you're interested, they still sell this book at Chick.com for $10.95, in English or EspaƱol.

See my review continued here.