Those of you who are Lovecraft fans like me will definitely appreciate this creative and hilarious Lovecraftian twist on the 12 Days of Christmas. It's a short story written by Eric Lis; this story was published in Weird Tales magazine in 2008, and this particular reading was broadcast on the Drabblecast podcast by Norm Sherman.
The link you are about to click on will launch the high quality 15-minute sound clip on YouTube. It's 15 minutes you'll be glad you invested.
My True Lovecraft Gave To Me
Merry Christmas!
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Thursday, December 13, 2012
More HPL short summaries
Once again, SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS!!!
Celephais - This story is, I suppose, part of the Dream Cycle of H.P. Lovecraft. In it a man, called Kuranes in his dreams (we know not what his real name is), becomes obsessed with his dream world, where life is so much nicer and more exciting than the real world. He begins spending more and more time asleep, visiting a city called Celephais that seems to represent a cross between Arabian Nights and King Arthur. Anyway, he starts taking drugs to spend more time in the dream world and eventually, in the real world, ends up a penniless junkie. A knight comes to him in real life at the end to escort him to Celephais so he can rule as their king and god. Kuranes goes with him, where he rules for all eternity. Meanwhile, his mortal body is found smashed on the rocks below a high sea cliff. Meh. I don't really like the dream world stuff. At least, not so far. However, this is a notable story for being the first mention of Innsmouth (though a diffferent Innsmouth, as it's set in the UK) and it's the origin of Kuranes, who will make a brief appearance later in "Dream Quest of Unknown Kadath" (which, as Lovecraft's longest work and a dream world story, I am dreading reading).
Cool Air - One of the first stories few stories I read in this collection, "Cool Air" still endures as one of my favorites. A guy who lives in this boarding house in New York develops an interest in (and a budding friendship with) the tenant above him, who turns out to be a scientist suffering from a malady that requires him to constantly be in a climate controlled atmosphere. To that end, he has invented air conditioning, using an ammonia-based cooling system. As time goes on, he requires cooler and cooler temperatures to maintain his health. In the end we find out it's because he's a zombie and he's begun rotting. It's very cleverly and descriptively written. I really like this story. I've read it twice so far and also listened to a fantastic reading provided by the H.P. Lovecraft Literary Podcast. I imagine this will be one of the first stories I will reread after completing my journey through all HPL's writings.
The Curse of Yig - I covered this one here.
Dagon - An American prisoner of war escapes from a German u-boat and gets lost at sea. After drifting in and out of consciusness, he awakens and finds himself on what he can only surmise is an incredibly large, sludgy segment of ocean floor that has broken off and floated to the surface. He gets out and explores his surroundings. Eventually he finds a great crevasse, which he scales downward to find the facade of an enormous temple. As he watches, an ancient, cyclopean monster comes to worship at the monolithic temple. After it leaves, the man makes his way back to his boat, but his mind has snapped and he remembers little. Waking in a hospital, he is told he was found afloat in his escape boat, where there is no sign of any chunks of the ocean floor floating on the water. But he knows it was real. And it scares him almost to the point of insanity to believe that there is possibly a race of great, monstrous beasts under the sea worshiping gods of their own. Meh. It was OK. I prefer "The Temple" when it comes to undersea adventures, but we'll get to that one later. Considered together, I think the two stories complement one another nicely, and when you throw in "The Call of Cthulhu" as well, so far that's a nice collection of stories that might have a deeper (no pun intended) relationship with one another.
As always, thanks for reading. Subscribe!
Celephais - This story is, I suppose, part of the Dream Cycle of H.P. Lovecraft. In it a man, called Kuranes in his dreams (we know not what his real name is), becomes obsessed with his dream world, where life is so much nicer and more exciting than the real world. He begins spending more and more time asleep, visiting a city called Celephais that seems to represent a cross between Arabian Nights and King Arthur. Anyway, he starts taking drugs to spend more time in the dream world and eventually, in the real world, ends up a penniless junkie. A knight comes to him in real life at the end to escort him to Celephais so he can rule as their king and god. Kuranes goes with him, where he rules for all eternity. Meanwhile, his mortal body is found smashed on the rocks below a high sea cliff. Meh. I don't really like the dream world stuff. At least, not so far. However, this is a notable story for being the first mention of Innsmouth (though a diffferent Innsmouth, as it's set in the UK) and it's the origin of Kuranes, who will make a brief appearance later in "Dream Quest of Unknown Kadath" (which, as Lovecraft's longest work and a dream world story, I am dreading reading).
Cool Air - One of the first stories few stories I read in this collection, "Cool Air" still endures as one of my favorites. A guy who lives in this boarding house in New York develops an interest in (and a budding friendship with) the tenant above him, who turns out to be a scientist suffering from a malady that requires him to constantly be in a climate controlled atmosphere. To that end, he has invented air conditioning, using an ammonia-based cooling system. As time goes on, he requires cooler and cooler temperatures to maintain his health. In the end we find out it's because he's a zombie and he's begun rotting. It's very cleverly and descriptively written. I really like this story. I've read it twice so far and also listened to a fantastic reading provided by the H.P. Lovecraft Literary Podcast. I imagine this will be one of the first stories I will reread after completing my journey through all HPL's writings.
The Curse of Yig - I covered this one here.
Dagon - An American prisoner of war escapes from a German u-boat and gets lost at sea. After drifting in and out of consciusness, he awakens and finds himself on what he can only surmise is an incredibly large, sludgy segment of ocean floor that has broken off and floated to the surface. He gets out and explores his surroundings. Eventually he finds a great crevasse, which he scales downward to find the facade of an enormous temple. As he watches, an ancient, cyclopean monster comes to worship at the monolithic temple. After it leaves, the man makes his way back to his boat, but his mind has snapped and he remembers little. Waking in a hospital, he is told he was found afloat in his escape boat, where there is no sign of any chunks of the ocean floor floating on the water. But he knows it was real. And it scares him almost to the point of insanity to believe that there is possibly a race of great, monstrous beasts under the sea worshiping gods of their own. Meh. It was OK. I prefer "The Temple" when it comes to undersea adventures, but we'll get to that one later. Considered together, I think the two stories complement one another nicely, and when you throw in "The Call of Cthulhu" as well, so far that's a nice collection of stories that might have a deeper (no pun intended) relationship with one another.
As always, thanks for reading. Subscribe!
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
More short attention span HPL summaries
Once again - SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS!!!
The Book - A guy finds a crazy old book at a messy secondhand bookstore. The proprietor refuses to take payment for it, seemingly relieved to simply be rid of the thing. The man takes the book home and studies it in his attic room dedicated to studying strange stuff. Crap gets weird. He looks at it more and crap gets weirder. Eventually crap gets so weirdthat during one of his readings/rituals the walls melt away and he finds himself in another reality, flying over an ancient stone city. That's pretty much it. I guess Lovecraft initially meant this to be the beginning of a larger story that would essentially be a prose version of his wonderful and hypnotic poem "Fungi from Yuggoth." Then he decided it was shit and ceased his effort. Kind of a shame; I liked it so far. Oh well.
The Call of Cthulhu - Quintessential Lovecraft piece introducing the Old Ones, particularly Cthulhu, to the world. Let's do a very boiled-down summary for this one. Part I: Guy inherits a chest full of stuff that points toward existence of some sort of supernatural force in the world, including a small idol of undetermined origin, construction and significance. Part II: Guy reads account of an explorer who finds two cults on opposite sides of the world and opposite ends of the technological spectrum which worship the same primordial being, represented by the aforementioned diminutive idol. Part III: After years of trying in vain to discover more about these clues, the guy finally stumbles upon the newsaper account that ties everything together in a horrible realization: Cthulhu does indeed sleep in the sunken sity of R'lyeh. And he is stirring, signifying that he will waken for good very soon. And when he does, if his cultists are to be believed, all the world as we know it will be devoured and a new aeon will begin, wherein the Old Ones will once again reign over all the universe. Great story. Read it.
The Cats of Ulthar - This one reminds me of a children's story, kind of like a tale by the Brothers Grimm. Could be at home in a collection with Red Riding Hood, Rumpelstiltskin and the Pied Piper of Hamelin. In this story, an old couple loves to torture and kill the cats of their neighborhood. Cat owners are, therefore, very careful to keep their feline companions indoors. When a band of Gypsies comes through town, no one thinks to tell them about the disgusting habits of the town's most hated (and feared) couple. After they kill a little orphan Gypsy boy's beloved kitten, he casts a Gypsy spell and all the cats get together to attack and devour the old couple. It's a revenge tale with cute little ears and tiny pink toes. I read it to my kids a while back, and my 10-year-old son seemed to like it as much as I.
That's it for now. More to come soon. Thanks for reading.
The Book - A guy finds a crazy old book at a messy secondhand bookstore. The proprietor refuses to take payment for it, seemingly relieved to simply be rid of the thing. The man takes the book home and studies it in his attic room dedicated to studying strange stuff. Crap gets weird. He looks at it more and crap gets weirder. Eventually crap gets so weirdthat during one of his readings/rituals the walls melt away and he finds himself in another reality, flying over an ancient stone city. That's pretty much it. I guess Lovecraft initially meant this to be the beginning of a larger story that would essentially be a prose version of his wonderful and hypnotic poem "Fungi from Yuggoth." Then he decided it was shit and ceased his effort. Kind of a shame; I liked it so far. Oh well.
The Call of Cthulhu - Quintessential Lovecraft piece introducing the Old Ones, particularly Cthulhu, to the world. Let's do a very boiled-down summary for this one. Part I: Guy inherits a chest full of stuff that points toward existence of some sort of supernatural force in the world, including a small idol of undetermined origin, construction and significance. Part II: Guy reads account of an explorer who finds two cults on opposite sides of the world and opposite ends of the technological spectrum which worship the same primordial being, represented by the aforementioned diminutive idol. Part III: After years of trying in vain to discover more about these clues, the guy finally stumbles upon the newsaper account that ties everything together in a horrible realization: Cthulhu does indeed sleep in the sunken sity of R'lyeh. And he is stirring, signifying that he will waken for good very soon. And when he does, if his cultists are to be believed, all the world as we know it will be devoured and a new aeon will begin, wherein the Old Ones will once again reign over all the universe. Great story. Read it.
The Cats of Ulthar - This one reminds me of a children's story, kind of like a tale by the Brothers Grimm. Could be at home in a collection with Red Riding Hood, Rumpelstiltskin and the Pied Piper of Hamelin. In this story, an old couple loves to torture and kill the cats of their neighborhood. Cat owners are, therefore, very careful to keep their feline companions indoors. When a band of Gypsies comes through town, no one thinks to tell them about the disgusting habits of the town's most hated (and feared) couple. After they kill a little orphan Gypsy boy's beloved kitten, he casts a Gypsy spell and all the cats get together to attack and devour the old couple. It's a revenge tale with cute little ears and tiny pink toes. I read it to my kids a while back, and my 10-year-old son seemed to like it as much as I.
That's it for now. More to come soon. Thanks for reading.
Monday, December 10, 2012
Friday, December 7, 2012
An Atheist's Christmas Blessing
I wrote the following diatribe as a response to a Facebook friend's post about how much he loathes Christmas and what a scam it is. The gentleman in question and myself attended the same Baptist church when we were children, and we both have long since left the church and the supernatural world behind in favor of the pursuit of logic and science...
I consider myself an atheist, but I am an atheist who
celebrates Christmas. For sake of argument, let's agree that everything you
said above is completely accurate. With all that having been said, isn't there
*something* special in the air this time of year?
Maybe it's just me. Maybe it's just nostalgia for the great
Christmas memories of my childhood - family, good times, a feeling of unity
with others, sweet and soothing music, pretty lights and bows, a cozy blanket
on a cold, snowy day, the eagerness and magic of awaiting Christmas morning.
Maybe it's all that bundled into one magical month, along
with the desire to leave my own children with magical memories of their own to
treasure and pass down to their children.
But there's something... There's something in the strains of
"Silent Night" that really makes my heart want to burst its seams
when I hear a multitude of serene, reverent voices singing it in breathy
unison, in a sanctuary full of lit candles. It's not unheard of for me to get a
bit teary-eyed by the third verse or so. It could be a result of the mass
mentality. It could be all those things I mentioned above flooding my brain at
once, creating a tsunami of an emotional overload.
Some would say it's a beneficent, supernatural, holy deity
trying to push its way through and make its presence known in my heart, and
they would pray for me to accept it. It'll never happen. I'm too scientifically
minded and rooted in PROOF = TRUTH to trust much of anything on faith alone, or
even that coupled with the "evidence" detected by my own feeble,
fallible, manipulable mind. But is it so bad for those people to want that for
me?
I readily accept people's prayers these days when they feel
that I am in need of them. There's no harm to me, and it comforts those people
to put their faith in a higher power.
Many horrible things have been done in the past in the name
of religion. John Hinckley shot Reagan in the name of Jodie Foster; I have
nothing against Jodie Foster.
Many wonderful things have also been done for humanity in
the name of religion. Despite the "sordid past" (and present) of many
churches, most of the churchgoing people I know are wonderful, trustworthy,
non-judgmental, generous and pleasant people to work and socialize with. I
can’t bring myself to attend a weekly church service because when I do I feel
like sort of a wolf in sheep’s clothing; I feel like I’m dishonestly
representing myself as something I’m not.
But I’m perfectly willing to let down my protective walls a bit during this time of the year, take part in the showmanship and trappings of the season, and enjoy a little bit of Christmas spirit. I happily gather with family, friends and loved ones to exchange gifts and make joyful memories that will endure for years to come. And whenever possible I take my family to a late night Christmas Eve service where we completely enshroud ourselves with a sometimes overwhelming flood of feelings of camaraderie, love, forgiveness, selflessness and joy.
But I’m perfectly willing to let down my protective walls a bit during this time of the year, take part in the showmanship and trappings of the season, and enjoy a little bit of Christmas spirit. I happily gather with family, friends and loved ones to exchange gifts and make joyful memories that will endure for years to come. And whenever possible I take my family to a late night Christmas Eve service where we completely enshroud ourselves with a sometimes overwhelming flood of feelings of camaraderie, love, forgiveness, selflessness and joy.
It may all be an illusion, but damn it, it’s a magical one
that I’m happy to perpetuate. And from one atheist to another, I am dreadfully
sorry that you seem to have lost the ability to be in touch with that magic.
Monday, December 3, 2012
New IT Manager #6
#Skyfall was freaking awesome, so I had to dedicate a week to my most favorite 007 ever. Daniel Craig, you kick ass!
This weekend: Peoria Ballet presents The Nutcracker
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| Seats remaining for the Dec 8 show as of this morning (Dec 3) are shown in blue. |
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| Seats remaining for the Dec 9 show as of this morning (Dec 3) are shown in blue. |
Start a tradition with your own family! Ring in each Christmas season with the premiere classical ballet of the yuletide season.
This year's production features many brand new costumes, all new choreography, and a brand new backdrop that the ballet acquired thanks to a successful Kickstarter campaign that I helped put together!
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Short-Attention Span HPL summaries
SPOILERS! SPOILERS!
Ever wonder what all the hubbub is about H.P. Lovecraft stories, anyway? Curious, but never cracked one open yourself? Tried a few times but couldn't get past the style or outmoded language? Here be spoilers. I will attempt to summarize and review each one I've read in two to three succinct sentences, something of which I believe Lovecraft himself was likely incapable.
The Alchemist - A guy living on his family estate is cursed as his family has been for generations, hunted and haunted by an enemy of his ancestors, an alchemist who, centuries earlier, learned the secret of eternal life. Not very good. I suspect he wrote it as a young teen.
The Beast in the Cave - Find this review here.
Beyond the Wall of Sleep - A guy mind melds with an apparently crazy Indian who goes to distant realms in his dreams, and he soon realizes they are actually astrally projecting themselves several astronomical units into the heavens and becoming some sort of star-eating cosmic mega-beings. Not a bad story. I kinda dig this one. Not scary at all, more like straight sci-fi with a disturbing image or two (and a fair bit of that endearing Lovecraftian racism) along the way.
That's it for now. This is going to take a while, but it's way more efficient than spending a whole entry on each one.
Ever wonder what all the hubbub is about H.P. Lovecraft stories, anyway? Curious, but never cracked one open yourself? Tried a few times but couldn't get past the style or outmoded language? Here be spoilers. I will attempt to summarize and review each one I've read in two to three succinct sentences, something of which I believe Lovecraft himself was likely incapable.
The Alchemist - A guy living on his family estate is cursed as his family has been for generations, hunted and haunted by an enemy of his ancestors, an alchemist who, centuries earlier, learned the secret of eternal life. Not very good. I suspect he wrote it as a young teen.
The Beast in the Cave - Find this review here.
Beyond the Wall of Sleep - A guy mind melds with an apparently crazy Indian who goes to distant realms in his dreams, and he soon realizes they are actually astrally projecting themselves several astronomical units into the heavens and becoming some sort of star-eating cosmic mega-beings. Not a bad story. I kinda dig this one. Not scary at all, more like straight sci-fi with a disturbing image or two (and a fair bit of that endearing Lovecraftian racism) along the way.
That's it for now. This is going to take a while, but it's way more efficient than spending a whole entry on each one.
Monday, November 26, 2012
Sunday, November 25, 2012
HPL update
I am three months into my sojourn of the fantastical and weird. By that I of course am referring to my venture to read the complete works of HP Lovecraft.
I have read several stories at this point (favorites indicates with asterisks):
• The Alchemist
• The Beast in the Cave
• Beyond the Wall of Sleep
• The Call of Cthulhu*
• The Cats of Ulthar*
• Cool Air
• The Curse of Yig*
• Dagon
• The Doom That Came to Sarnath
• The Dreams in the Witch-House
• The Electric Executioner
• The Evil Clergyman
• Ex Oblivione
• Facts Concerning the Late Arthur Jermyn and His Family
• The Festival
• From Beyond*
• The Haunter of the Dark*
• Herbert West: Re-Animator*
• The Hound
• The Music of Erich Zann*
• The Nameless City
• Nyarlathotep
• Pickman's Model*
• The Picture in the House*
• The Rats in the Walls*
• The Statement of Randolph Carter*
• The Strange High House in the Mist
• The Terrible Old Man*
• The Tree
• The White Ship
• Winged Death
So much already read. I am really enjoying this collection. And to help me slog through the tales that don't quite tickle my fancy the way some do, I always do a wrap up session after each story with the corresponding episode of the HP Lovecraft Literary Podcast, at hppodcraft.com. I've become quite fond of Chad Fifer and Chris Lackey.
Lots of reading done, but so much more to be done. And miles to go before I sleep...
I have read several stories at this point (favorites indicates with asterisks):
• The Alchemist
• The Beast in the Cave
• Beyond the Wall of Sleep
• The Call of Cthulhu*
• The Cats of Ulthar*
• Cool Air
• The Curse of Yig*
• Dagon
• The Doom That Came to Sarnath
• The Dreams in the Witch-House
• The Electric Executioner
• The Evil Clergyman
• Ex Oblivione
• Facts Concerning the Late Arthur Jermyn and His Family
• The Festival
• From Beyond*
• The Haunter of the Dark*
• Herbert West: Re-Animator*
• The Hound
• The Music of Erich Zann*
• The Nameless City
• Nyarlathotep
• Pickman's Model*
• The Picture in the House*
• The Rats in the Walls*
• The Statement of Randolph Carter*
• The Strange High House in the Mist
• The Terrible Old Man*
• The Tree
• The White Ship
• Winged Death
So much already read. I am really enjoying this collection. And to help me slog through the tales that don't quite tickle my fancy the way some do, I always do a wrap up session after each story with the corresponding episode of the HP Lovecraft Literary Podcast, at hppodcraft.com. I've become quite fond of Chad Fifer and Chris Lackey.
Lots of reading done, but so much more to be done. And miles to go before I sleep...
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
New IT Manager #4
So I had to put up a second name plate this week because I let a coworker take the previous one home with him after his last day on the job. Evidently it was Wil Wheaton's last day on the job as well.
Our newest IT Manager comes to us straight from Latveria, and he gives new meaning to the phrase "ruling with an iron fist."
Monday, November 19, 2012
Monday, November 12, 2012
Saturday, November 10, 2012
HPL Review: The Call of Cthulhu
I really liked this story. It's one of the dozen or so longer stories Lovecraft wrote, coming it at around 11,000 words or so, I believe. Not a huge undertaking, but with my busy schedule it took me about four sittings to get through it.
The story is told in three chapters. It is told through a manuscript left behind by a man named Francis Wayland Thurston, who details how he slowly put together pieces of various stories and news accounts to make a horrible discovery.
In part one we're slowly introduced to the idea that something weird has been going on. Thurston is called upon to rummage through his deceased granduncle's belongings, whereupon he inadvertently unearths evidence that unrelated people all over the world seem to have had similar nightmares on the same specific dates. He also finds a curious little statuette of a winged, crouching, tentacle-faced creature, bearing unrecognized symbols or writing. Notes accompanying it name the figure represented as "Cthulhu."
In part two we delve further into the notes and discover in the piles memoirs of a man named Inspector Legrasse, who made some related and similarly disquieting discoveries of his own. It seems that a swamp cult in Louisiana and a remote tribe halfway across the globe not only seemed to worship this same heretofore unknown (to Legrasse) deity or eldritch being named Cthulhu, but they also performed the same exact rites in the same exact, unknown language.
In part three we learn the story of a sailing ship which encountered opposition during one of its voyages. Presumably, they were attacked by pirates. In reality the opposing ship had been trying to not only same themselves and the other ship, but indeed all of reality by keeping the other ship from proceeding.
No spoilers, but I have to say this is one of my favorite stories yet of this collection. As I say, it's a bit longer but still easily doable. Any HPL fan has no excuse for not having read this one. I'm ashamed it's taken me until I'm 38 to do it.
The story is told in three chapters. It is told through a manuscript left behind by a man named Francis Wayland Thurston, who details how he slowly put together pieces of various stories and news accounts to make a horrible discovery.
In part one we're slowly introduced to the idea that something weird has been going on. Thurston is called upon to rummage through his deceased granduncle's belongings, whereupon he inadvertently unearths evidence that unrelated people all over the world seem to have had similar nightmares on the same specific dates. He also finds a curious little statuette of a winged, crouching, tentacle-faced creature, bearing unrecognized symbols or writing. Notes accompanying it name the figure represented as "Cthulhu."
In part two we delve further into the notes and discover in the piles memoirs of a man named Inspector Legrasse, who made some related and similarly disquieting discoveries of his own. It seems that a swamp cult in Louisiana and a remote tribe halfway across the globe not only seemed to worship this same heretofore unknown (to Legrasse) deity or eldritch being named Cthulhu, but they also performed the same exact rites in the same exact, unknown language.
In part three we learn the story of a sailing ship which encountered opposition during one of its voyages. Presumably, they were attacked by pirates. In reality the opposing ship had been trying to not only same themselves and the other ship, but indeed all of reality by keeping the other ship from proceeding.
No spoilers, but I have to say this is one of my favorite stories yet of this collection. As I say, it's a bit longer but still easily doable. Any HPL fan has no excuse for not having read this one. I'm ashamed it's taken me until I'm 38 to do it.
Monday, November 5, 2012
New IT Manager #1
As my workplace is currently sans a manager in the IT department, I thought I'd have a bit of fun with the guys over there. When no one was looking I created a new nameplate for outside the doorway of the vacant office.
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| Productivity has really stepped up since they never know if he's waching them. He keeps using that damned One Ring. |
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Halloween hijinks abound on Draw Something
In honor of my favorite day of the year, all of my Draw Something drawings today were done with a Halloween theme. Here are a bunch, along with a few other recent Halloween-/horror movie-themed drawings, just to maintain the spirit of the season. Enjoy!
FOULBALL
CARRIE
JUGGLE
SNAIL
TRASHCAN
WHISKERS
BATHROBE
DOLL
FARM
GOBLIN
POPCORN
Don't forget! You can stay updated on my latest Draw Something masterpieces at http://mcgrawshane.tumblr.com
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
So long, Vader. It was nice knowin' ya.
Disney is un-friggin-stoppable. It's like that crazy Playstation game Katamari. Pixar, Marvel (I died a little that day too) and now Lucasfilm... What will that monstrosity of a Hollywood juggernaut devour next?
Three new Star Wars movies? Really? Why, for God's sake? Well, I don't care what they say. They won't be canon.
And let's not forget Indiana Jones. Any plans there, Disney? Actually, Lucas did a good job on his own of screwing up that franchise. It could use some fresh life.
If they remake Labyrinth I'll scream, I swear to God.
Bastards.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
The Lord of Steel rises to the throne
I finally got hold of the retail version tonight--not gonna say where, but let's just say it was a great deal. (And not a SPECK of guilt, mind you.) Let's give it a spin:
1. The Lord of Steel - Still a quite solid track. Great mid-to-fast tempo, almost thrash-type song (reminiscent of "The Power") with an incredible riff that really grabs you. The lyrics are among the least silly on the album. Makes a decent title track and introduction to the album's direction.
2. Manowarriors - Definitely sounds better with this mix, that much is undeniable. Once again, Joey's fuzzy bass is appropriately buried, popping out every now and then for the spotlight. I still dislike the song, but not as much as before. I just really hate that one line, "Never gonna change our style, gonna play tonight for quite a while..." Oh, and I'm not crazy about "We come from different countries with metal and with might, we drink a lot of beers and play our metal loud at night" either. This song seems more camp than metal anthem. As an offhanded aside, Karl Logan's solo reminds me of Vinnie Vincent (what ever happened to that guy?)
3. Born in a Grave - HOLY SHIT! YES! The intro alone is a major improvement. I wish they'd have hit that single clock strike a bit harder after the whispered intro, and of course they drag out the chorus a few too many times at the end, but everything else about this tune is EPIC. This is what I'm talking about! ...And they finally figured out a decent way to end the song too. Perfect!
5. Touch the Sky - Another good track turned great. The new mix is so much more balanced than the previously released version. I don't really care for the breakdown they implemented around 2:15 in the song, but I can get used to it. Being only 3:46 in length, I feel like a bunch of chorus repetitions wouldn't have hurt this song like it affects some of the others. They should have just let the momentum carry it out until the natural end. Still, a wonderful tune.
6. Black List - One of the two tracks I was not looking forward to listening to again, in any form, no matter the mix, especially after seeing that it's still 6:47 in length. It feels like perhaps Joey was unable to compromise on this one with the remixing team, and they left it more or less as-is to satiate his ego and insistence on having a bass-heavy, mostly instrumental song on the album. Whatever happened, at least the mix sounds more full and less tinny and cheap. I still don't "get it" in general, and I continue to dislike the song. I'll be skipping this one every time.
7. Expendable - I like it more now than I did before. Even the old mix has kind of grown on me since first I heard it, though. They didn't do a whole lot to this one in the remix; nothing major anyway except (I believe) making it a tad shorter. Hmmm... Single???
8. El Gringo - Well, my DVD still hasn't arrived from Netflix, but when it gets here I'll be watching it straight away. Gotta see if it's a good match for the song. I did notice that the spaghetti western type theme seems to be a but more buried than before, like in the background, less obvious. The bass is predominant in this one, more so than in the album's earlier tracks. And they figured out some way to stretch this one out to 6:53, which is about a minute and a half too long for me. It reminds me of Neil Young's song "Sample and Hold," from the album Trans, the only Neil Young album I can stand to listen to. I have the LP in my collection (complete with the track list typo), and that particular song is one of my favorites on the platter (remember when they were called that?). When the CD release came out, it had a version that's about twice as long and half as good as that originally released mix. Believe it or not, what I'm saying is that I like the earlier version of "El Gringo" better than this more recent mix.
9. Annihilation - The second track I wasn't really looking forward to listening to, but after listening to it, I'm not sure why I felt that way. It has great drums, kick-ass guitar solos, again reminiscent of Vinnie Vincent for me (are Karl's fingers getting faster?), and not incredibly silly lyrics. By all rights, this turned out to be a decent song.
10. Hail, Kill and Die - This was my absolute least favorite song on the Hammer edition of this album. I really tore this track a new one in my review. I called it shameful. Once I heard the 90-second iTunes preview of this new mix, though, this was the one I was most looking forward to hearing in its full, remixed glory. Man, oh, man. POUNDING rhythm, a simple repeatable chant for the chorus, a great riff, Eric's killer vocals... It now seems like a perfectly logical--and rather welcome--updated version of "Blood of the Kings." It's really a new generation's version of that song I heard closing out the fantastic and best-selling Kings of Metal album in 1988--that song which introduced me to song titles I did not know but I realized at that time I had to seek out no matter the cost. I owe "Hail, Kill and Die," Manowar and Joey DeMaio an apology for my previous comments about this track. Not only was I wrong; I can't wait to hear this one played live. It's going to tear the place apart.
11. The Kingdom of Steel - This is the bonus track which was not released on the Hammer version of the album. I don't know what to think going in, other than that the iTunes preview gave away very little, being the first 90 seconds (mostly Stairway to Heaven-type guitar instrumental lead-in). It's a seven-minute-plus epic that I am hoping will not be too self-indulgent... [Time lapse] It's very plodding in pace... I guess I could have done without most of that 90-second intro, for one... Not sure I care for the chorus, or for the musical direction it goes. I don't know much of anything about music and theory or how to explain what I'm hearing, but I guess the best way I can describe it is that the chorus "goes down" when I was expecting it to "go up." ...And then the song modulates down even more at around 6:00... Seems like the songwriting was not too bad or silly. That is, there's a certain amount of respect given to the subject matter. Where songs like "The Gods Made Heavy Metal," "Die for Metal," and this album's own "Manowarriors" are obviously a bit tongue-in-cheek, this one is more akin to "Master of the Wind." On a side note, twice now I've listened to this song, and both times at 1:52 I get the jeepers creeped out of me by a small, childlike voice calling in distress into my right ear from afar, "Daaaaad!!!" Haha. It's like that "Shaaaane!" that I still, to this day, hear my mother calling from within the frenzied electrical guitar cacophony at the end of "Blood of the Kings."
ALL IN ALL:
Yep. I was wrong. I take it back. Well, most of it, anyway. The Lord of Steel still carries with it a certain cheese factor. But what Manowar release doesn't? However, I stand by my convictions that between this album and Louder Than Hell you will find some of the most pedestrian examples of songwriting in the band's nearly 30-year catalog.
Surprisingly, The Lord of Steel turned out to be a solid addition to that catalog all the same. I still think that 2009's Thunder in the Sky EP is a stronger body of work, but I will definitely be listening to this one again very soon, and probably even singing along before too long. I already do so to at least three tracks. It's a good dog walking or lawn mowing companion.
Thank you, Manowar, for coming through in the end. Oh, but no thanks for that Hammer edition. I'm going to delete it now and never give it another thought (well, maybe when I'm listening to the last half of "El Gringo.")
New list (up two spots to number eight):
1. Battle Hymns MMXI
2. Warriors of the World
3. Kings of Metal
4. Hail to England
5. Fighting the World
6. Gods of War
7. The Triumph of Steel
8. THE LORD OF STEEL
9. Sign of the Hammer
10. Battle Hymns
2. Warriors of the World
3. Kings of Metal
4. Hail to England
5. Fighting the World
6. Gods of War
7. The Triumph of Steel
8. THE LORD OF STEEL
9. Sign of the Hammer
10. Battle Hymns
11. Louder Than Hell
12. Into Glory Ride
12. Into Glory Ride
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Manowar update
This is a followup to my previous Lord of Steel post.
Now that the retail edition has released on iTunes and will be shortly released on CD to the world, and I've also had the opportunity to give the Hammer edition a few more spins, I can confidently say that I was right. :P That Hammer edition sucks balls.
I have heard the 90-second previews of all 11 tracks on iTunes, and just from that little bit of information I can safely say that the mix was the biggest problem with the preview release. Thank God they decided to tone down that overamplified, fuzzy, farting bass guitar in the new mix. Each song snippet I've heard is so much fuller and more powerful than before. Believe it or not, "Hail, Kill and Die" might be one of the stronger tracks on the album now that there's some true, thundering, visceral power behind it.
Now that this album's been out for a while it seems like there's a little bit of backpedaling going on, with the Manowar camp saying the Hammer edition was meant to be a rough cut preview of the final project. That's not what their own hype machine said in June. Back then they billed it as a special edition which, "blazes with pure power, untamed energy, and a sound as raw and wild as a force of nature...features sure-to-slay tracks like El Gringo, Hail, Kill And Die!, Annihilation and Expendable and is an essential album for every true metal fan's collection." It wasn't.
Well, regardless of that fiasco, at least we finally have the definitive version releasing worldwide in a couple of days. I'm curious to hear the rest of that eleventh track, too, as the iTunes preview doesn't really do it justice. I will end up downloading this one, but I doubt I'm going to pay for it if I can get away with it. I'll shore up my guilt by deleting the only copy of the shitty version I already have, never to speak of it again. I did the same thing with Metallica's Death Magnetic when the Guitar Hero version got out, since they really screwed up the mastering on that original release too. My conscience is clear.
Moving on, here's some exciting news:
Now that the retail edition has released on iTunes and will be shortly released on CD to the world, and I've also had the opportunity to give the Hammer edition a few more spins, I can confidently say that I was right. :P That Hammer edition sucks balls.
I have heard the 90-second previews of all 11 tracks on iTunes, and just from that little bit of information I can safely say that the mix was the biggest problem with the preview release. Thank God they decided to tone down that overamplified, fuzzy, farting bass guitar in the new mix. Each song snippet I've heard is so much fuller and more powerful than before. Believe it or not, "Hail, Kill and Die" might be one of the stronger tracks on the album now that there's some true, thundering, visceral power behind it.Now that this album's been out for a while it seems like there's a little bit of backpedaling going on, with the Manowar camp saying the Hammer edition was meant to be a rough cut preview of the final project. That's not what their own hype machine said in June. Back then they billed it as a special edition which, "blazes with pure power, untamed energy, and a sound as raw and wild as a force of nature...features sure-to-slay tracks like El Gringo, Hail, Kill And Die!, Annihilation and Expendable and is an essential album for every true metal fan's collection." It wasn't.
Well, regardless of that fiasco, at least we finally have the definitive version releasing worldwide in a couple of days. I'm curious to hear the rest of that eleventh track, too, as the iTunes preview doesn't really do it justice. I will end up downloading this one, but I doubt I'm going to pay for it if I can get away with it. I'll shore up my guilt by deleting the only copy of the shitty version I already have, never to speak of it again. I did the same thing with Metallica's Death Magnetic when the Guitar Hero version got out, since they really screwed up the mastering on that original release too. My conscience is clear.
Moving on, here's some exciting news:
- Manowar has been tapped to do the soundtrack for an upcoming Jean-Claude Van Damme action flick.
- "Sons of Odin" has been appropriated as the theme song for an online PC RPG-type fighting game called Smite, wherein players take the roles of gods and goddesses from various cultures throughout the history of the world. The game is currently in beta version with over 500,000 players worldwide. A trailer with gameplay featuring the Manowar song can be found on YouTube.
- El Gringo releases on DVD today. It's at the top of my Netflix queue. I'll let you know how it is once I've watched it, and how well the Manowar tune fits it.
- Joey said in a recent radio interview with Eddie Trunk that the band has been approached by two major touring agencies in the US regarding tours that would give us around a dozen US dates each. No word on whether the band will be entertaining their offers yet, but the interest alone is a freaking FANTASTIC piece of news. They are finally making a mark in the States! The rest of 2012 is already on paper, but maybe 2013 can be the year of the Conquest of the Stateside Manowarriors.
Friday, October 12, 2012
HPL Review: The Hound
This is a very short story about a couple of guys who are thrill seekers. It's similar to "Herbert West: Reanimator" in that our protagonist sort of paints himself as the willing accomplice following along on these insidious adventures instigated by the other guy.
Here's the synopsis: As I mentioned, these two guys have grown bored with life and even with the pursuits that exist on the fringe of society. Before long they realize in order to get excited about anything it must be dark, sinister or morbid activities. Eventually they resort to grave robbing for their adrenaline fix.
One day they get a line on this grave in Holland that is supposed to contain the body of a centuries-dead grave robber. He was purportedly buried with his last great prize, an amulet of some kind. They decide to target that grave next.
See, they consider themselves artists of a sort; they revel in the atmosphere of each plunder. And they see it as suitably poetic to rob the grave of a legendary grave robber.
They end up taking this gargoyle-looking amulet from the grave and hightailing it out of there, back to their elegantly and morbidly described museum of the disturbing known as their lair. That turns out to be a horrible mistake.
I really like this story. It's got some of the most unsettling stuff I've read in the descriptions of the loot they have in their hideout, (though I have discovered that one word I have in mine was a typo in the PDF translation**) and at the same time there are humorous passages that give a hint that Lovecraft penned this as kind of a parody. It's very reminiscent of Poe in certain parts, which is nothing new for Lovecraft, but this time it seems to be almost poking fun at not only Poe, but the whole Gothic horror genre in general.
There's this really cool bit of the story where Lovecraft shows that it's not supposed to be taken too seriously by doing this sort of "Rattling Bog" repetition about how the moon is full, the shadows are long, the trees are grotesque and drooping, there are huge bats flying around, there's a church steeple pointing like a finger into the sky, the fireflies are dancing, and there's a spectral howl of some sort of hound in the distance... He repeats that like three times nearly word for word during the story. I like that part. It's so graphically atmospheric, yet the way it's delivered is totally tongue-in-cheek.
"The Hound" is an easy, quick read that doesn't take itself too seriously. There's not much of a scare factor at the end, but definitely a worthwhile read. Highly recommended.
**I have to share this because it's kind of funny. When the protagonist describes the treasure trove the two villains have collected, at one point he says (in my ebook version), "Niches here and there contained... the flesh and radiantly golden heads of new-buried children." Picturing that, I cringed. Wow, I said to myself after reading that. Not only the heads of small children, but they flayed off the flesh too. God, that's horrible.
Once I heard an audiobook version of the story, I realized that my copy was wrong. It should have been the "...fresh and radiantly golden heads of new-buried children."
Ohhhh, I said to myself upon my new discovery. 'Fresh!' They were just cutting the heads off freshly buried children and taking them home as trophies; they didn't flay the flesh to keep as well. That's not quite so morbidly sinister. But honestly, in retrospect, is there truly any difference? LOL
Here's the synopsis: As I mentioned, these two guys have grown bored with life and even with the pursuits that exist on the fringe of society. Before long they realize in order to get excited about anything it must be dark, sinister or morbid activities. Eventually they resort to grave robbing for their adrenaline fix.
One day they get a line on this grave in Holland that is supposed to contain the body of a centuries-dead grave robber. He was purportedly buried with his last great prize, an amulet of some kind. They decide to target that grave next.See, they consider themselves artists of a sort; they revel in the atmosphere of each plunder. And they see it as suitably poetic to rob the grave of a legendary grave robber.
They end up taking this gargoyle-looking amulet from the grave and hightailing it out of there, back to their elegantly and morbidly described museum of the disturbing known as their lair. That turns out to be a horrible mistake.
I really like this story. It's got some of the most unsettling stuff I've read in the descriptions of the loot they have in their hideout, (though I have discovered that one word I have in mine was a typo in the PDF translation**) and at the same time there are humorous passages that give a hint that Lovecraft penned this as kind of a parody. It's very reminiscent of Poe in certain parts, which is nothing new for Lovecraft, but this time it seems to be almost poking fun at not only Poe, but the whole Gothic horror genre in general.
There's this really cool bit of the story where Lovecraft shows that it's not supposed to be taken too seriously by doing this sort of "Rattling Bog" repetition about how the moon is full, the shadows are long, the trees are grotesque and drooping, there are huge bats flying around, there's a church steeple pointing like a finger into the sky, the fireflies are dancing, and there's a spectral howl of some sort of hound in the distance... He repeats that like three times nearly word for word during the story. I like that part. It's so graphically atmospheric, yet the way it's delivered is totally tongue-in-cheek.
"The Hound" is an easy, quick read that doesn't take itself too seriously. There's not much of a scare factor at the end, but definitely a worthwhile read. Highly recommended.
**I have to share this because it's kind of funny. When the protagonist describes the treasure trove the two villains have collected, at one point he says (in my ebook version), "Niches here and there contained... the flesh and radiantly golden heads of new-buried children." Picturing that, I cringed. Wow, I said to myself after reading that. Not only the heads of small children, but they flayed off the flesh too. God, that's horrible.
Once I heard an audiobook version of the story, I realized that my copy was wrong. It should have been the "...fresh and radiantly golden heads of new-buried children."
Ohhhh, I said to myself upon my new discovery. 'Fresh!' They were just cutting the heads off freshly buried children and taking them home as trophies; they didn't flay the flesh to keep as well. That's not quite so morbidly sinister. But honestly, in retrospect, is there truly any difference? LOL
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