Draw Something... Draw anything! Just draw already!

My addiction has moved to the next level. I killed the Facebook album I mentioned earlier and started a Tumblr page to share my coolest drawings.

Check out McDraw Something at
http://mcgrawshane.tumblr.com
and feel free to comment, reply, post your own versions, or whatever!

While you're at it, subscribe! :)

REVIEW: Manowar's newest LP hits some high notes

I have been in possession of Manowar's latest full-length offering, The Lord of Steel, for about a week now, and I've given it several spins in that time. I wanted to be able to give a fair review for this record; I'd say I'm pretty familiar with it by now, and I finally think I can do just that.

First, let me say I'm pleased that the band seems to have abandoned the horrible concept of their Asgard Saga. It sounded cool on paper, but once I saw those dreadfully cheesy video clips of medieval battles and a village being overrun I thought, "Odin, help me."

This album seems to harken back to the type of tracks you might find on 1996's Louder Than Hell. Now, those of you who have read my blog before should know that I don't have an extremely high opinion of that particular disc. Basically, a third of that CD, in my opinion, kinda blows. It's stale and recycled sounding, the songwriting kind of sucks, and the tracks do not take advantage of Eric Adams' insane vocal talents. The other portion, though, is pretty kick-ass, and including one of my favorite Manowar songs, "The Power," and the instrumental I'd like played at my funeral, "Today is a Good Day to Die."

This album is similar to me. There are a couple of real stinkers on the track list. Conversely, we also have two or three genuine treasures.

Track one, the title song, has a killer riff, punishing drum work by Donnie Hamzik, and the vocals are in line with their most recent stuff, though not quite allowing Adams to really shine and show off his power and range. It's a catchy tune in the vein of "Thunder in the Sky." The lyrics are fairly un-silly and straightforward. One of the better tracks.

Track two, "Manowarriors," is not only unnecessary, as we Manowar fans already have a solid and respectable theme ("Army of Immortals" from Hail to England), but the lyrics are downright laughable. (Sorry, Joey.) Get a load of this: "Never gonna change our style, gonna play tonight for quite a while." Wow. "Quite a while?" Boy, that's really in-your-face. And the chanting dudes are getting a bit old. We can sing along without the Kidz Bop for adults call-and-response bullshit. Second worst track on the album. Yep, sadly, there's one even worse yet to discover.

Track three is is the awesome song "Born in a Grave." It's fresh sounding (though reminiscent of "Gods of War"), lyrically unique, musically interesting, and not too repetitive. I'd like to point out that two of the tracks which immediately stood out to me as highlights on this disc were the only two tracks on which Joey DeMaio shared writing credits. I've been thinking for a few years now that part of the problem with this band is that it sometimes suffers from the well-meaning but massively overinflated ego of Joey DeMaio (liner notes: "all songs written, engineered, recorded, edited and produced by Joey DeMaio, [who plays] 4 string, 8 string, piccolo bass guitars and keyboards."). I think this album proves yet again that a little bit of new blood in the songwriting process would be beneficial to the band.

Track four is the other song on which Joey shared writing credits with Karl Logan. "Righteous Glory" is possibly one of the most musically beautiful songs Manowar has ever recorded. The vocal layering and power in the first chorus will bring you chills. It's not a new theme (Valkyries carrying slain warriors to Valhalla), but it's never been done quite like this... Except in "Swords In the Wind," of course. This one immediately stood out to me as the best track on the disc. It's the only one I listened to twice in a row during my first exposure to the album. Another testament to the idea that Joey needs to back off a bit and let some creative juices take the band wherever it should go.

Track five is DeMaio's writing highlight on the album and the third-best tune on it, "Touch the Sky." It is reminiscent of Louder Than Hell's "Number One," thankfully sans the stupid chanting crap. It's a solid track and a welcome addition to the Manowar catalog. I look forward to hearing it live even though it plays the vocals and lead guitars pretty safe all the way through.

"Black List" begins sounding like an instrumental, only an incredibly lackluster one. After two minutes in, I started thinking that maybe they forgot to mix in a vocal track or something. All it is up to that point is a plodding rhythm guitar and drums, perfect for adding vocals over but horrible as a standalone piece. Then it goes silent for a second at around 2:30 and the vocals kick in after the song starts back up. But it starts with the chorus. It feels very odd to have the chorus delivered to you after two and a half minutes of nothing leading up to it. Then we get a solo followed by a short bridge and two more choruses. WTF? This is a waste of seven minutes. I want them back. Worst decision since "Achilles, Agony and Ecstasy in Eight Parts."

Track seven is "Expendable." This song was inspired by the brainless yet entertaining action movie The Expendables. This song could easily have been the theme song to that film, as they were both cut from the same cloth. Seriously, though, this is a pretty cool track. One of the better ones on the disc. And not a single mention of Norse mythology. Whew. On a side note, whoever spell checked the liner notes and lyric sheets should have their head removed. "...Your watching on the outside - Yea that's all you people know - So bring a knife or a gun - and I'll show you what their for..." and "...I will survive with no one left around me - cause your all gonna die..." Shame on you, Magic Circle. Hire me. I can proofread like a sonuvabitch.

The eighth track, "El Gringo," actually is the theme song from a movie. An independent, direct-to-video Western movie with a whopping budget of $7M. Christian Slater is in it. Third billing. You might recognize the top-billed star from his work in... Aw, never mind. Well, at least it makes for a cool tune. In keeping with the comparison of this album with Louder Than Hell, this is Lord of Steel's "Outlaw." Solid, with only a little bit of that Manowar cheese factor.

The penultimate track, "Annihilation," is a so-so effort that feels a bit empty. Some recycled lyrics pieced together from older songs. A confusing theme on this one. It starts out as a typical Manowar vengeance and justice vehicle, but at the end it seems to flirt with creeping into the metal anthem territory. At the last moment it seems to come to its senses and snap back into that "hand of justice" trope. I don't know. This song is actually kind of a mess.

By the time the final track rolls around, I'm ready to end it. It's rare that a Manowar disc ends with its worst track, but this is a fine example. This song just pisses me off. It's completely unnecessary, and it feels like an exploitation of their own work. Crafting an entire song out of the titles of previous songs is hard to do and make it not sound retarded. They already did it successfully with the classic, "Blood of the Kings," so why even attempt it again? This is just shit. Possibly one of the worst songs they ever recorded. It's a shame. When a band has the ability to round out an album with a barrage of bad-assedness like on Warriors of the World or Fighting the World, to fizzle out with a piece of shit song like this should be embarrassing.

Overall, I place this album somewhere near the bottom of my fave scale, which I included in my comprehensive post about Manowar back in February. Probably right above Louder Than Hell. That would make the updated list:

1. Battle Hymns MMXI
2. Warriors of the World
3. Kings of Metal
4. Hail to England
5. Fighting the World
6. Gods of War
7. The Triumph of Steel
8. Sign of the Hammer
9. Battle Hymns

10. The Lord of Steel
11. Louder Than Hell
12. Into Glory Ride

Note, though, that these are full-length releases only. 2009's Thunder in the Sky was technically an EP, but I'd place it pretty high on the list if I could, probably right below Kings of Metal. I think it's some of their finest work of late. If you could take the entirety of Thunder in the Sky and combine it with three of the strongest tracks from Lord of Steel, you'd have one hell of an album.

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Draw Something is amazing!

I have a confession. I am balls-deep into a Draw Something addiction right now. I cannot recommend a mobile app any higher than I do this game. It is so incredibly fun, even without purchasing the $1.99 premium upgrade, though I'm bound to do so at any time now.

I play this game whenever I have a chance. I currently have about 15 games going, and at times I find myself thinking that's just not enough. So far there are about half a dozen players I really enjoy volleying back and forth with (and one of those is an opponent that was randomly selected for me). I can still have fun with all the players in my games, but there is that handful whose drawings I truly anticipate receiving, not only to watch them guess my drawing, but to see what they have in store for me.

I try my best to avoid taking the easy way out on a drawing whenever possible. Of course, sometimes I am limited by the size of my iPhone, especially when coupled with the sausagelike fngers that are doing the drawing. But for the most part I have stuck to my plan of creating a challenge out of each round when I can, not only for myself, but for the guesser as well. For instance, last night the word I chose to draw was "red." I could have drawn a splotch of red paint and pointed to it with an arrow.

Instead--and I wish I'd done a screen grab of this now--I went with "red" as more of a theme. I drew (in this order) a wall splattered with blood, a huge puddle on the floor, a bloody, severed stick-man arm lying in the puddle, a kneeling, blood-spattered stickman sans one arm next to it, and the caption, "Oh dear. It appears my arm has fallen off."

One time for "blender" I drew (again, in this order) a nondescript green, red and slightly yellow swirl topped by a green splotch with what appeared to be two bulging eyes, a cup or jar surrounding it, a black base, some buttons, an electrical cord , and more colored splotches radiating out from the carnage; a frog in a blender.

Here are a few I did get screen grabs of. These are some of my greatest examples of not taking the easy way out. Once again, anyone can view my entire ongoing album of favorite original Draw Something screen grabs at this URL. Please stop by for a chuckle or two. Enjoy the preview below!

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Oh my gosh, I'm a copyright pirate

Ahoy there, mateys! Yer friendly neighborhood pirate here, plunderin' the seas of copyrighted classical music and gettin' notices in me YouTube account.Now, I don't do a whole lot of uploading to my YouTube channel, so maybe this kind of thing has been going on for some time and I was just unaware of it. I got an email notice this morning regarding a video I uploaded yesterday. __________________________________________

Dear SPR1N9H33L,
Your video may have content that is owned or licensed by UMG, but it’s still available on YouTube! In some cases, ads may appear next to it.
This claim is not penalizing your account status. Visit your Copyright Notice page for more details on the policy applied to your video.
Sincerely,
- The YouTube Team
_____________________________________________

Apparently I have so sufficiently violated a copyright as to restrict my video from even being viewed in some places.

Vivaldi died two and a half centuries ago. I don't think he's in the Great Beyond, patrolling the Interwebs to find copyright infringers. I say if he has no beef with people recording his music and making their own money off it ad infinitum, those people should have no beef with me posting a three-minute clip of his music (not theirs--I don't care who perfomed it) and gaining no profit. Copyright law is stupid sometimes.

YouTube's answer to the copyright claim makes even less sense. The video has been blocked in Germany, has ads running next to it in some locations, and has been disabled from viewing with mobile devices. I wonder why Germany specifically. Vivaldi was Italian. The Venice Baroque Orchestra is obviously Italian. UMG (Universal Media Group) is owned by Vivendi, a French company... I lose the trail there.

I also wonder why, in response to a copyright claim, YouTube's answer is to place ads with the clip in question. And really, what isn't a mobile device these days? Do desktop computers even exist anymore? (I'm exaggerating, of course. I'm one of the probably 20% of people at work who actually has a desktop PC at my cubicle)

And I like this option of replacing the audio with a song from the YouTube library. You can't change the musical accompaniment to a ballet piece! Though I wonder what I'd have to choose from. It might be worth an experiment to find out. Perhaps I could try replacing Vivaldi with "Chocolate Rain."

Finished another project for Peoria Ballet

As the title of the post indicates, I just finished putting together the program for Peoria Ballet's annual showcase. First they contacted me because they had no cover for the program. Got that done in about an hour. Today, they discovered they had major issues with the program content itself so I was tapped to recreate it and fix all the complications. It was a rush job, but I'm proud of how it turned out. Here's the cover image. (Photography by Ching)

By the way, tickets are still available for this show. It's the culmination of the academy's training over the last semester, and if past performances are any indication it will be a wonderful show. I did get a chance to observe a rehearsal last week, and there are some truly beautiful pieces involved.

My son, age 10, has been dancing with the Peoria Ballet for several years now. He's been working hard and is hoping to graduate to level 3 very soon, perhaps after his summer intensives.

It really is an excellent school of ballet, and Peoria is fortunate to have an instructor and art director like Servy Gallardo around to teach here. He takes a great amount of pride in what he does for the academy and its students.

Gallardo, who has also taught in major metropolitan ballet schools, frequently comments about how impressed he is with the eagerness of Peoria students to work hard and learn.

I'm proud that my son is one of those eager students. He's just like any other ten-year-old boy in many respects. He loves NERF guns, video games and Pokemon, but above all he has a genuine love of dance. Some kids like baseball, football or NASCAR, but not my kid. He's found his calling. No matter what he does or where he goes in life, dance is going to have a big part in it, I'm confident and proud to say.

For the joy that Peoria Ballet has brought my son, I am always pleased to help the academy out when I'm needed. Whether it's set-building, backstage crew, cast parties, shooting video, grinding out print work last minute or whatever else they throw at me, they can always count me in.

Hail and Kill

June 16 is the date I await. Digital prerelease of the new Manowar CD--with a new official title which was unveiled last week--Lord of Steel. This will reportedly be a departure from the epic metal sound and a return to raw, kick-ass metal, more in line with WOTW and Battle Hymns. That's exactly what I was hoping for. Nothing kicks more ass than Manowar when they are going balls-out. Joey promises this album will blow our heads off. Can't wait!

The return of the coney dog

So I know this isn't media related, but it is related to previous posts, so if you don't like it, suck it.

Oh happy day! My wife and I just stumbled upon the original owner of Emo's Dairymart in Peoria. A year or two ago she sold her business and her coney dog recipe. Being big fans of her coneys, we were sad to see her go--especially once the new owners failed to deliver upon reopening. I have nothing against the Ice Cream Shack (the other place owned by the new Emo's owners) but Peoria really doesn't need two of them.

So here we are a year or so later, and my wife decided to try a new ice cream and coney place that's been open for a while. It's called simply Coneys, and it's located on Willow Knolls Drive in Peoria. Turns out, it was built by Janice, the former proprietor of Emo's. Need I say how good the dogs are? Oh. My. God. And the ice cream! 34 flavors of soft serve just like old Emo's!

So anyone else who misses the old Emo's like we do, make your way out to Coneys on Willow Knolls for a familiar treat or three.

Fresh news from the camp of Manowar

Hot off the virtual presses comes the news that Manowar's new song, "El Gringo," is actually the theme song from a movie with the same name. Releasing soon, the movie appears to be a modern "B" western with tons of gunfire, exploding blood squibs and bad dialogue.

Perhaps it's prejudicial of me to give a review of the movie based solely on its trailer, but I'm pretty sure I'll be proven correct.

But I'm overlooking the point here. Manowar have finally made it onto a movie soundtrack! No, it's not the exposure they deserve; they should have been tapped for a song on the Thor soundtrack--that was a no-brainer. But for now, I'll take it.

The best news (for me) of yesterday's press release is the confirmation that the new album's direction will be similar to 2002's Warriors of the World, one of my favorite efforts by the band, and that we're still on track for a, "world premiere and digital pre-release in June 2012."

Hail and Kill. Gods of War, I await thy steel.

iReview the iPhone 4

Well, I've had my iPhone 4 for two weeks now, and in that time I've finally been able to form an opinion of the device. That's right, I said iPhone 4 - *not* 4S. What do you think, I'm made of money or something? The two iPhone 4s were pricey enough as it is.

So allow me to begin by saying that overall I LOVE my phone. Really though, I might not be a good person to ask. It is, after all, my first smart phone. I've never had a data plan or 3G availability before, so it could be that I'm merely smitten with having the Web at my fingertips whenever I want it.

I'm proud to say, however, that I have not gone apeshit buying apps. As a matter of fact I have spent less that $5 on apps and am quite pleased with the results. I do have my eye on an additional $2.99 app but I've been biding my time in case the urge passes.

So what apps are my faves so far? Glad you asked. First, there's the addictive doodle game Draw Something (see attached screenshot), which has proven to be not only fun but very easy as well. Admittedly, it would be MUCH easier on an iPad instead.

Another game followed me from Facebook--Words with Friends. I find social online gaming in general a lot easier to keep up with now that I'm always "jacked in."

In addition to gaming, there's my newly expanded presence in the world of social media now that I'm constantly plugged in to Facebook, Twitter, Flickr, Instagram and my newest obsession, Foursquare. (I have four mayorships already)

And believe it or not, I purchased my first electronic book in the iTunes store. It was the complete writings of H.P. Lovecraft--EVERYTHING--short stories, novellas, poetry, essays--for $5.99. Hard to pass up and even harder to not enjoy, even on my tiny iPhone screen. I've been reading one short story every night before bed. I even took back a library book without cracking the cover.

Anyway, I can now say that I understand the appeal of ebooks, and I will likely purchase an e-reader at some point in the future.

Drawbacks? The battery life sucks, BIG TIME. I'm accustomed to going three to four days without requiring a charge. Now it's daily. Of course, previously my phone was just a phone and texting tool. Now it's damn near a new appendage. I guess the drain on the battery should be expected when you use your phone as much as I have been.

Another gripe? This one's a legitimate complaint: The vibrate function is barely worthwhile. Most times it might as well be nonexistent because you can't feel it anyway.

So while I don't like not being able to tell if I'm getting notifications on silent mode or being tethered to my charging cable (or not being able to utilize perfectly good generic charging cables that worked just fine with my iPod--Apple bastards), I am certainly impressed overall. This phone has easily changed my life.

For the better? We'll see. By the way, this is the first post which I blogged entirely from my iPhone.

--------5/22/2012--------
UPDATE!!! See some of my most cherished drawings from my turns at DRAW SOMETHING in my Facebook photo album located here. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll likely scratch your head. But you'll definitely laugh, or at least snicker to yourself quietly.

A practical use for Photoshop

As part of my job I am the staff photographer. I always clearly communicate the portrait dress code, but sometimes people either don't listen, refuse to comply, or as in a couple of cases, don't have the required attire in their wardrobe. Here's how I deal with that.

First, I thank my lucky stars that there are people who do comply. It gives me plenty of source material for the project. Then, I simply do a wardrobe transplant.

Here the gentleman to the left did not bring a jacket for the shoot. Now, we have some spare jackets lying around, but this guy's a stout dude--his neck's like a tree trunk, for crying out loud. I have nothing that will fit him. The other problem complicating things was that he is a remote field employee. He hardly ever visits the home office--maybe once a year. There was no way to reschedule a reshoot; I had to get his photo this time or there was no telling how long it would be before the opportunity presented itself again.

Lucky for me I had plenty of source photos to comb through and look for a jacket to match his ensemble. I chose one from the photo of another gentleman with broader-than-normal shoulders, but I still had to do a fair bit of transforming to make it match the contours of the first man. Then just for the heck of it I decided to lighten the color a tad to more of a charcoal.

Anyway, this wasn't my first time at the rodeo. In doing employee photos I've also had to composite up to as many as four shots into one final product, add a necktie, tighten a necktie, remove wrinkles (from clothing and faces), color hair, whiten teeth, add color to dead-looking, sunless, pale faces, remove cold sores and other blemishes... You name it. That's part of semi-professional portrait photography. You have to hope for the best but expect the worst and be prepared to address it.

New version of Audacity looks good so far

As you know, I have recently discovered a software release that got me quite excited, the newest incarnation of Sourceforge's open source audio editing suite, Audacity. I downloaded it yesterday and I have had a little bit of time to fiddle around with it since then. After that brief exposure I can now give my initial impressions of its capabilities, some of the more obvious differences since the last version, and maybe even a couple of things I don't like or that will, at the very least, take some getting used to.

THE GOOD:

• Much faster MP3 export
• Variable speed playback slider keeps you from mucking about in the effects menu just to play something back a bit slower
• Playhead indicator goes across all tracks when using the time shift tool, making it much easier to synch tracks to each other
• Includes a sliding time/pitch shift tool - I'm very excited about this one!
• I'm also excited about the new vocoder tool, but I have not yet had the chance to mess with it
• New vocal remover tool
• More tone generators
• And best of all, NO CRASHES YET!

THE BAD:

• The reverb option is gone - perhaps it's been integrated with the echo effect
• The project menu is gone and I suspect it's been split up between the new tracks menu and some of the other menu options, making it difficult to navigate at first
• The ID3 tagging was also tough to find - in this version it's called metadata, which I guess is an appropriate name anyway; I liked the interface though, once I found it

THE WTF?

This release includes a DTMF generator, for which I cannot imagine a proper use. If someone has any idea, please fill me in. If you don't know what DTMF is, it stands for Dual Tone Multi Frequency... Basically it's the sounds a touch tone phone makes when you press the buttons. The new generator in Audacity allows you to input a string combination and it will insert that string in DTMF format into your project at the indicated point. What for? I don't know. Please help.

So that's my initial impression. If I discover any other new gems (or headaches) in dealing with this software, I'll be sure to post them right here. Any way you look at it, this version is a major improvement on an already superior piece of programming. As I mentioned before, you can't beat free, unless it's free and of a superlative quality; Audacity is both. Thanks, Sourceforge.

Sourceforge releases new version of sound editor

I was stoked to learn this morning that our friends at Sourceforge have recently taken their wonderful sound editor, Audacity, from its latest beta version to a full, new version release! On March 13 of this year, they unveiled Audacity v 2.0!

A screenshot from Audacity 2.0

I've been using Audacity for many years, and I can't be happier with its performance. For a free product, you can't beat it. Audacity outperforms some premium products I've used. This release addresses, among other things, some of the bugs that have been driving me occasionally nuts, primarily the one that causes the program to sometimes crash for no reason after recording in Windows 7. Even though the product has admittedly brought me infrequent headaches over the years due to glitches like this, I would still wholeheartedly recommend it to any audiophile who wants a powerful piece of audio editing software on a budget.

I have not yet had time to explore all the upgrades in this release. If I end up having more feedback on the matter I will definitely forward it on to the Sourceforge team and post it here for the curious.



Manowar update re: Hammer of the Gods

I was looking at my posts today and noticed when browsing the analytics that the post that's brought in the most readers was the post I did about Manowar. With that in mind and my desire to become part of the "Circle," here's a fresh post concerning a 2012 album update.

Manowar today released the second preview from the upcoming Hammer of the Gods album release. The song is called "Expendable," and it sounds like a true metal masterpiece to me. Here's an exclusive clip:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koNYpiwHjHY&feature=colike

If you missed the first preview, for the song "El Gringo," you can find it here:

http://youtu.be/2JOqDxJ5trY

Both are some kickass sounding tunes. I am more excited for this release than any other album yet. The previews make the songs sound like they are not as full of the typical Manowar trope that has honestly made the band a bit of a joke with outsiders over the years.

Let's hope that 2012 will be the year that Manowar gains some much overdue respect in the rock world. Hail and Kill, brothers and sisters of true metal!

Sorry for the absence

See, I recently got my first smart phone, the iPhone 4 with Sprint's unlimited data plan, so I have been quite busy trying to clog the 3G pipeline with as much data downloading as possible.

I promise to have a proper post early this week yet.

"The Hunger Games" failed to satisfy my craving

"The Hunger Games" is now playing in theaters everywhere.

I took my 4th grader to see The Hunger Games tonight because he just finished reading the novel and had been asking to go. I've never read the books myself, and I don't plan on doing so either. After having seen the film, any limited interest I had in joining the Hunger Games bandwagon has evaporated. Ash enjoyed the movie, though he reminded me repeatedly throughout it that we were not watching a loyal adaptation of the book on film; the two were worlds apart based upon his description.

Here's my take: I saw the first trailer for The Hunger Games a few months ago, before I'd even heard of the book and all its hype. I remember turning to my friend during the trailer and saying, "Who is this movie's target audience? Seems like a kids' movie, but it looks kind of violent." And later on, after the trailer concluded, "Jeez, really? What do you think the odds are of that chick dying at the end?" I was implying that the movie looked formulaic and predictable, the kind of film where you can call every shot at least two minutes before it happens on screen.

Now it doesn't happen all the time, but this time I happened to be spot-on accurate in my estimation of what to expect on screen when that theater darkened tonight. But that wasn't the worst of it. Not only was the entire premise of the plot completely absurd, but it borrowed so much from other films as to be totally devoid of any originality or suspense. And the future world in which it took place was presented with laughable melodrama, failing to successfully connect or identify with the viewer on even the most basic level of being human. It was totally non-believable.

David Carradine starred in the 1975 film "Death Race 2000."

I can accept the notion of a future version of the U.S. which follows a second Civil War, breaking the country up from 50 states to 12 districts. However, regardless of the believability of the uprising that brought on the state of the former union, the idea that the citizens of the former U.S. would not only allow, but support, their government in requiring their children to take part in such a brutal bloodsport, even for food, is ridiculous. I've seen similarly themed movies that were actually more plausible--The Running Man, 1932's The Most Dangerous Game, Surviving the Game with Ice T, Logan's Run, Roger Corman's Death Race 2000 for crying out loud...

In a nutshell this world is like 1984 meets Logan's Run meets Robin Hood. As I said, no originality. We aren't ever told exactly what year the story takes place in, but certain parts initially led me to think perhaps the 22nd century. The movie begins in a small, dirty mining town surrounded by a lush forest. Later on in the film we move to a large city (via an Atlas Shrugged-style speeding super train) and certain other things struck me as severely anachronistic for only a hundred years or so in the future, so I started thinking it might be more like 500 years on.

The partygoers at the Frankenstein house had...unique...flair.

For one, there's the fashion. It's like the costume designer for the Rocky Horror Picture Show got together with Dr. Seuss and Prince Poppycock to come up with a clothing line for the future earth. Ridiculous, colorful, twisty, shiny and flashy clothing and accessories. And the city... Like a cross between Oz and Alderaan. The citizens fit right in.
Then there's the technology. I initially thought the games were taking place in some sort of forest, perhaps on a secluded, escape-proof island. When Katniss tries to escape, though, it turns out to be more like a Truman Show style, enormous enclosure. Remember when Truman Burbank tried to escape by driving in one direction until he couldn't any more? Katniss did that on foot. Remember how they stopped Truman? Forest fire. Guess how the eyes in the sky stopped Katniss? Yep. Forest fire. (facepalm)

Jim Carrey plays Truman Burbank in "The Truman Show."

So it's like the Truman Show--cameras hidden everywhere (even in trees), environmental controls, fire spraying weaponry that pops out of the ground like a lawn sprinkler, the ability to display a computer readout or TV feed on the sky (?)... But then the control operators start fiddling with some sort of hellhound hologram in their control room, and the next thing you know, a bunch of them just...APPEAR...in the forest. What??? What the hell is going on? OK, so I guess it's less Truman Show and more like a Star Trek holodeck. Oy vey.

Then there's the script. Let's just say it could very well have been written by whoever wrote any given Spy Kids movie and I wouldn't be the least bit surprised. Just one example. I'd hate to give away any spoilers (ha!). So Katniss is found by a gang of rival contestants who are working together. She's being tracked, and the group is led by her supposed teammate and friend (the boy who loves her). She outruns them and climbs a large tree to get away but they find her and decide to, "wait her out. She has to come down sometime."

Not exactly cinema gold.

They camp out directly beneath the tree and she sleeps 40 feet up, tethered to some large branches. Only in the morning does she notice the ENORMOUS nest of mutant hornets ten feet above her, conveniently hanging smack over the sleeping enemy. Katniss endures a few venomous stings in dislodging the nest, but the payoff is huge as thousands of angry "tracker jackers" swarm her murderous foes. Half of them don't survive the attack but her traitorous friend does. Later in the movie the two of them rejoin one another and it's like the incident never even happened. Are you kidding me? He tried to KILL HER. Who just forgets that?

Anyway, I guess you can tell I won't be recommending this movie to anyone over the age of 14, which is a shame because it is rather violent. It's a pity that the only people who should be able to enjoy this film are tweens on the edge of puberty and under the MPAA's (and my, as I agree with the rating) recommended viewing age. The film is rated PG-13 for violence and alcohol use. There might have been tobacco use--I don't remember for sure. There is very little to no objectionable language and no sexual content whatsoever.

Unfortunately, there's very little good to say about The Hunger Games either, other than my ten-year-old son said he loved it. However, even he commented that it was more violent than he's used to seeing. We're pretty conservative with our permissiveness as far as movie viewing. Normally a PG-13 would require a parental pre-viewing, but since he'd just read the book I decided it would be OK this time to skip that.

Monk is about to go splat in the original "Men in Black."

The difference with the violence in this movie compared to what he's seen before on film is that this was more grounded in reality. This isn't Agent K splattering Jeebs' head to snot in Men in Black only to see it grow back five seconds later; this is teens in a contest for their lives, killing other teens with knives, spears, bows and bricks. It's definitely more visceral than your average sci-fi violence against ugly aliens with laser guns. The only sci-fi parallel that comes to mind for the emotional weight of the violence in this movie is that in Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith.

My recommendation for parents: buy your kids the books and skip the movie(s?). The books may be violent too, but at least they'll be reading. It's becoming a lost art these days. I've heard a lot of great things about the series from kids and adults alike. And if it can get MY son to read, there must be something to the hype.

Tee shirt design suggestions

The Book of Mormon Broadway musical's Facebook page recently asked fans to design a show-related tee shirt they'd like to see. Here are the two ideas I sent them. I have a third idea but it involves a cartoon frog, which I'm not sure I can draw competently. Perhaps I'll give it a try this weekend.

"The River" finally makes waves

I watched the season finale of ABC's The River tonight, titled "Row, Row, Row Your Boat." After having almost lost interest in the series by about halfway through this first season, I'm kind of glad now that I forced myself to nurse it along. That finale was more like the show I'd expected to see that what had been coming to my DVR every week on...whatever day it aired.

The River was conceived by Oren Peli (Paranormal Activity films) and Michael R. Perry (writer for Eerie Indiana, American Gothic, The Practice, Law & Order: SVU, House, among others) and executive produced by Steven Spielberg. It aired as a mid-season replacement with an initial run of eight episodes in the first season.

The premise of the show is that a well-known American nature show host, Dr. Emmet Cole (played by Bruce Greenwood), has gone missing while on an expedition on the Amazon River. After six months the search is called off, but his family decides to continue the search when a transponder signal from Cole is picked up on radar. They gather the remainder of the television crew and set out to document their journey to find Dr. Cole.

The group eventually finds Cole's disabled boat, The Magus, and begins combing through the video footage Cole and his crew left behind. That's when they realize that Dr. Cole's decades-old catchphrase which he always concluded each program with, "There's magic out there," was meant literally. They see footage of Cole apparently holding flames in his hands, treading on water, and taking part in magical rituals with primitive tribes in the jungles of the Amazon.

Their trek soon takes them to a fork in the river, and they must begin following Cole's trail up an uncharted offshoot of the Amazon...An uncharted offshoot that begins displaying some magical properties of its own. In fact, the further up the river they go, the weirder things get. They encounter a new supernatural threat in each episode--some genuinely creepy, some only vaguely so.

The season began with a powerful double episode. The creep factor was quite high, as was expected from Paranormal Activity-type camerawork coupled with an endorsement from Spielberg in a show airing on the network that brought us Lost. But my biggest complaint after that initial airing was that the momentum and adrenaline rush got lost in the week-long gap between episodes.

The other complaint I had was that it seemed to be trying to too hard to pick up the mantle laid down when Lost went off the air: "Let's be weird and crazy and only give viewers a piece of the puzzle, then make it so each new answer creates three more questions. Just like Lost!"

In all, The River might end up being a better viewing experience on DVD. Perhaps that cross-episode suspense will maintain itself more effectively if you have the ability to watch the whole thing marathon style. Being only eight 44-minute episodes, once the first season DVD collection hits store shelves in late May you can easily digest the entire season in one day if the urge strikes you. If you do, let me know how that works out for you.

This Film Is Not Yet Rated

I watched this documentary the other night on Netflix. It was quite entertaining, informative and thought provoking. In it the filmmaker, Kirby Dick, interviews many directors and writers whose films have, right or wrong, earned the infamous X or NC-17 rating from the MPAA, which means very limited distribution and no advertising budget. That usually translates into a box office turd. (Apologies for placing the word "turd" next to the adjacent graphic. Twice.)

The film explores the apparent inconsistency of the ratings process and brings light to the conclusion that many ratings seem to be based on what is best for the studios rather than the consumer, as the MPAA would have you believe. Part and parcel of that argument is the fact that indendent films are more likely to earn a more restrictive rating than major studio films, regardless of comparable content. Many examples are provided of identical scenes identified as root causes of specific ratings, yet the ratings are different.

Mr. Dick also digs into the clandestine nature of the ratings board itself as well as the ratings appeal board. The identities of these people have been shrouded in secrecy since the MPAA's inception in 1968. The current head of the MPAA's Classification and Rating Administration, Joan Graves, is the only member known to the public. That is, until Kirby Dick hires a private investigator to reveal all their identities. :)

Needless to say, the MPAA gave this film itself an NC-17 rating. Mr. Dick chose to forgo the rating entirely and give the MPAA the big kiss-off. That's why you've never heard of it. It's definitely worth a look if you are a cinephile like me.

Four of five stars

Star Trekking into reality

Fans of the Star Trek franchise will no doubt tell you if you chide them for being lost in a fantasy world, that their fantasy world is becoming startlingly close to reality in some aspects. No, we're no closer to alien contact or anywhere near light speed travel, let alone beyond light speed. But many of the electronic devices imagined by Gene Roddenberry and the show's creative teams have seemingly begun sprouting up in the last decade or so.

For instance, we can begin with speech recognition programs for computers. Speech-to-type translators have been around for years. Now we're moving toward speech-interfaced personal assistants like the as yet imperfect SIRI from Apple on the iPhone 4S. It's not quite there yet, but we're making large strides. Shouldn't be too long before a major breakthrough.

We also have wireless communicators nowadays. No, the comm badges themselves aren't being mass produced, and of course they had walkie-talkies in 1966. I think the comm badges are closer to modern mobile phones than walkie-talkies. Think about it. No visible antenna; no need to continually press the Tx button to speak; no dialing needed (voice recognition again); they even have LoJack built in (along with GPS, another Star Trek reality, though they would only really work on earth, I guess)... It's not exactly the same, but I'd say the spirit of the communicator badge is represented by the mobile phone. (Oh, now that I think about it, mobile phones would only work on earth too. UNLESS the Enterprise has a built-in cell phone satellite network. Of course that's plausible.)

What else? We have cloaking devices, artificial intelligence, we've done amazing things as far as genetic mapping and cloning... Believe it or not, we've made initial inroads to making transporters a reality, though on a miniature, atomic scale at this point. I also think we're making our first baby steps toward real life replicators in the 3D printing process that's been invented in the last few years. Of course, we're nowhere near the ability to replicate foodstuffs, but as I said---baby steps. The XBOX 360 Kinect is not even close to the experience of the holodeck, but it's a start.

Dr. Beverly Crusher in Next Generation uses a portable touchscreen medical tablet that looks an awful lot like an iPad to me. And what's that other thing that Crusher and all the other officers use in every episode, in every series of the franchise? The tricorder, of course. Earlier this year, Qualcomm and the X Prize Foundation announced a $10M prize to the first person to create a real, working medical tricorder. Why? Because they know it's possible and, like their private space travel X Prize accomplished, they know that the reward will be motivation to make it a reality.

What's next? Warp speed travel? I doubt it. It might not even be possible--Einstein and Hawking seem to agree on that. But if it were possible it only makes sense that, as in the Star Trek mythos, the moment we achieve it is the moment the entire universe will open up to us. It would be like creating fire or the wheel for the first time.

Star Trek is an enduring fantasy to me because we keep seeing science fiction edging closer to science fact. Every step we get closer to the technology of Star Trek brings me closer to the hope that the franchise embodies. That hope is the magic of peace that resonates out from earth's First Contact with an intelligent, enlightened and peaceful alien race. Can you imagine?

In the mythos, once First Contact has been made and we realize that we are not alone in the universe, that realization paves the way for world peace. Suddenly all our squabbles on this hunk of mud floating around on the unfashionable end of this outer spiral arm of the Milky Way galaxy will seem rather petty, don't you think?

New Manowar album preview!

Below is a video of members of "The Circle" - fans and media contacts hand chosen by Manowar - previewing the rough mix of the newest studio track, "El Gringo," from Manowar's upcoming album, which will be released in late June/early July 2012.

Not only am I stoked for the new album; I also saw this as an opportunity to hopefully get involved with this "Circle." For now, count on me to promote Manowar news whenever I receive updates. Later, who knows?

 

Also note that 2012 is the 10th anniversary of one of my favorite Manowar discs, Warriors of the World. It's a big year! Perhaps another U.S. visit will be in the works???

Hail and Kill,
Your brother of steel
official band site:
www.manowar.com